JJ's Arena

Good. Bye. Grandma.

2011-11-27T02:21:00.002+08:00

As much as I'm feeling really sad. I feel it is only right that I dedicate a post to my grandma. She had just passed away last Wednesday. A lot of events happened that day. A simple trip to the hospital just took a bad turn of event. And everything ended on the midnight of Wednesday. Recalling the events are too painful right now even though everything remains fresh in my mind.

Instead of focusing on the sad stuffs, this post shall focus on positive and happier events. Grandma took cared of me when I was still a kid while mum helped out at uncle's company. She didn't had much education as life was really difficult for her in her younger days. However, she had learned good habits and has taught all her grandchildren whom she took cared of, including myself, well. I should include my mum, auntie and uncles into the list as well. Grandma has taught her younger generations well. In fact, she had been awesome.

She had taught me manners and habits which I still practiced until now. And I will continue to do so because it has become part of me. I am always grateful for her care. I had planned to bring her out for a good meal when I'm done with my studies and begin my first job. I should have visited her more often. She had slight senile period but she had always remember me and always called out the right name. Thinking back right now, is able to make me tear. However, she has moved on to another world. I can no longer do what I planned to do. It was too late. I had missed my chance. To be frank, I really hated myself for this and is regretting it big time. She has always hold a dear place in my heart. I have always respected her. I always wanted to treat her well all the time. She will and always been my dearest grandma. But I can no longer repay and perform my duties as a grandson....

I should have learned to treasure her more when she was around. Now, it's too late. I really learned to love and show care to anyone I love and treasure all of them at the current moment. Do not ever leave it late. It will only create regrets.

3 days of wake has been over and all other required events has been conducted. Some scenes which happened will always stay in my mind. Incidents involving two relatives whom were really close to grandma really pains me but makes me proud to be a grandson of this wonderful lady. It really touched me.

When grandpa passed away, I was still too little. I was still only 3 or 4 years old. I didn't quite know what had happened. Now that I had grown up, I learned to acknowledge the event better.

Moving on is really hard. But it is a natural process. I hoped I can learned to come to terms with it. I'm sure grandma would not want us to grieve for too long either. Be strong.

Thank You. Thank You, Grandma. I will always remember you. You will stay in my heart. In loving memory.

Friday 4th November

2011-11-05T00:10:00.002+08:00

I've no idea what name to give for this post so I guess I shall just name it as today's date. Well, I've wanted to post something for quite some time. Ever since I finished the 3 exams last week, I've been thinking of penning my feelings down. But because of the emotions involved, I refused to face it and it took me until now to be brave enough to face it. Haiz.

Now, how should I start? Let's see. I've been quite pleased to finish this semester as this only means that next semester will start soon and very soon I'll end my study journey in Curtin Singapore. A path which I do not enjoy a lot but pleased because it provides a good learning curve.

Anyways, for the past 2 weeks, it has been study week followed by 2 weeks of exams. Did I concentrate well and study hard? NO! Guilty? Yes. Did I attempt to make amends to make up for my lack of concentration? No. What's my distraction? You. Frankly. What's with me? Come on! I should do better by focusing on what's more important than let myself get distracted away. More so, over things that don't have any future. Now, I'm left to care whether I have done enough to clear one of my module. And I've got no one to blame but myself. J, what's the point? That shows you are immature and needs to be more mature.

And also, why do you think about it so much after looking at the photo. It's a photo that means nothing. Even if there are other guys in her life, so? You're just someone disposable, don't think too highly of yourself. Please learn. Be it her or any girl that will be my girlfriend or loved ones, I don't have the right to run her life. So, I should learn to not be bothered about these things so much.

But, on a side note, at least now, I do not think about her so much, which is good. Let's hope it stays this way. I really don't think anything good will happen. We will just be friends. But nevertheless, I will continue to care for you and if my disposable presence is needed, I will be more than glad.

enough of feeling happy.

2011-10-20T23:47:00.003+08:00

Yep. Enough of feeling happy. The chat with her could have gone on and on. More topics can just keep coming up and it will not stop (or so, I feel). But because its nearing exams and I can't separate my heart matters with my brain. Already, without the heart matters, I'm not able to study very well and get all the things I want to study into my brain. With it, it will only get worse. And true enough, I can't really focus. No doubt, I can't focus as expected. So, I had to stop the chat from going. I stopped it quite abruptly. Sadly, yes. In fact, I'm even leaving the chat dangling.

I'm supposed to reply but because I do not want to leave the chat to have any chance of continuing at the moment, I had to refrain from replying her. Whether she is awaiting the reply (which I don't think she is) or not, I stopped the chat when it was going well. I'm happy enough to be able to chat with her, albeit through 3 or 4 messages a day, but still I'm really happy to be always awaiting her reply. Whether she feels the same way (which I highly doubt so), I do not want to think about it. Sometimes, I do find myself weird. I am supposed to be feeling happy, why do I have to 转牛角尖? Why not just leave the happy moments lingering and stop thinking about anything negative from there! That way, I will be happy and not feel miserable isn't it?

Anyway, the chat shall stop until I get over the 1st week of my exams. 3 papers to clear. Confident? No. Well prepared? Not at all. So do I have the luxury to let my mind be anything but fully concentrated? Well, I can't.

Whether the chat can continue when my exams are over, I don't know. But I do hope we can continue to chat like we do. No doubt, it's just simple, casual chat. But, I really feel happy. Serious. Do you like chatting with me? I hope so. But I'm not going to read too much into whether you like chatting with me or not. What I want to do is to make you smile or make you cheerful or happy. I like to see you smile and I'm going to try to make it possible. For now, I can't do that and I better be self-disciplined and focus on my priority. It's just one week. Don't make it seems like its forever. It's going to pass by so quickly after all.

I've been waking up in the middle of my sleep nowadays. And usually, I will wake up around 6 or 7 plus. I'm not exactly a light sleeper. Usually, I'll sleep like a log. Hard to be awaken. But I don't know when I started this habit of waking up around 6 or 7 plus. The reason is simple. That's because I'm anticipating your replies since usually you reply at this timing. I assume that's the time you wake up and prepare for class, or whatsoever. But for this coming one week, I don't know if I will kick this habit away. But what I do know is, when we continue to chat again, I will return to waking up around 6 or 7 plus just to check my phone. I've fallen in very deep. Can you sense it? Do I want you to sense it? Frankly, I don't know.

still feeling happy =)

2011-10-15T01:40:00.002+08:00

This is going to be a quick post. In need of rest. Had a busy day today. Woke up slightly earlier to buy a pack of paper to print the Marketing Research major assignment 'coz I ran out of paper while printing the assignment last night. =( Went to school to submit the assignment. Finally all assignments are gone. What a busy semester, seriously! Somehow, I feel next semester could be just the same. It might be slightly better since I've been through a hectic one like the one that is about to end. After I'm done with submitting the assignment, I went off to Tampines for gym. Been 2 weeks since I gym. This is one activity I enjoy doing and I want to continue to do. And tonight, I started a bit of revision by writing notes. Need to get into the groove asap as I don't really have much time to revise. Being stupid definitely doesn't help.

And here I am to post some thoughts. To continue the events that happened after my last post, we continue to message each other probably until today. Even though the contents were simple, casual talk, but just to be able to chat with her is enough to make me feel happy. In fact, I'm still in a pretty good mood till now! She don't reply fast but because of that, I will always be eagerly awaiting her reply. Sounds crazy huh? Well, maybe after a while, I might not be have such a strong feeling. Because if I continue to have such a strong feeling, there can only be one outcome: I will fall even deeper. Whatever the case, shall see how it goes. No point anticipating the situation before it even happens. Or worst still, whether that might happen. But for now, being happy and joyful isn't bad. So let me stay in this happy mood for a little longer.

Ciao.

You.

2011-10-10T01:05:00.002+08:00

You. A simple action by you can actually make me SO SO SO happy for a whole day. Erm. I think I might even be smiling in my sleep tonight. Haha! I'm THAT happy!

All it takes was just for you to take the initiative and send me a message. To make me this happy. Never mind the content of the message. Like people always says, it's the thought that counts. :p Yep, to me, that was all that it matters. It really brighten up my day and probably make me stay happy while I approach this busy week ahead. To think I was just talking to Wan Ting about I'm the only interested party in this friendship as I'm the one that usually starts the ball rolling. Well, happiness aside, tomorrow is a new start. A new day.

On a side note, I saw a really disgusting scene this morning. Somehow regret my action. Should have done much more. What happened was I heard a cat growling so pitifully. So I stopped and take a look at the cat to see if it growled because it was hungry (I had no food to offer it though). Just curious. It was a nice little black with white strips stray cat. To my astonishment, part of its face was falling out. Ewwwwww.....my gosh!! Whoever did it to this poor little creature is so cruel. But I didn't do my part. It wasn't until I reached Kinokuniya then I realised I could have done more by calling SPCA or any organisations or agencies that could have helped. I hoped the cat met some kind person who helped it. 'coz by the look of it, the cat is in real pain and I suspect if it's not being treated, it might be gone..BUT let's hope the little creature will be fine. It will be.

Anyway, it's time for bed and be ready for the last class for this semester. The next one will come pretty soon, get excited about it, J. Night, blog.

Alone.

2011-10-01T02:22:00.002+08:00

This is going to be a short post. Just felt like voicing it out. I think I should leave you alone. I think I can sense you getting annoyed by me? Maybe I read too much but I would rather I think too much now, then spoil the friendship.

Troubled but for what?

2011-09-24T01:15:00.002+08:00

I seriously need to stop myself from thinking about love matters, or rather her. I think i'm getting too troubled for nothing. My brain has been thinking about too many unnecessary stuffs. What for? I merely learned that she went out with the ex-colleagues, and yes, 1 of them is the person that like her. And so? Just a meet-up anyway. I sulk and think about it also don't know for what. Yes, I'm jealous but what can I do. I need to stop being too bothered over these things. I'm not in a position to bother and I'm just a nobody.

But, no matter how I keep telling myself not to think. My brain will always think about it. Please lah, J. Suppress that emotion. You have to. You just have to. Enough said.

On a side note, Mum's not in a good mood today because of something. I hope everything will be fine. Yes, it will.

Fed up and tired..

2011-09-18T00:30:00.002+08:00

I don't know why but maybe because I'm a little sick, I'm feeling really tired after work today. I think both physically and mentally tired. Physically because I'm partially sick and having lack of sleep. Mentally tired because I'm feeling the 'hurt' from the latest Arsenal loss and school work. Not gonna talk too much about Arsenal. Too pain to talk about it right now. Let's hope Arsenal can bounce back and play for their dignity.

So let's talk more about school work. I've been working hard and making myself complete my tasks on weekdays so I can have lesser stress and pressure to do the school work over the weekends. I don't like it when this plan is being upset. Fed up. But hey, time to grow up, J. Life is not a bed of roses. Things does not goes always according to plan. So take it on the chin and move on.

I am getting more frequent in coming to this page and pour out my feelings and thoughts. Sorry blog, before I get a girlfriend (if I ever get one), you are my outlet for my feelings. Hehe..

I'm getting tired from doing the assignments. I'm procrastinating more in this semester. J, this is a crucial semester. Don't let your head drop. Stick at it. You can only be hardworking and get yourself past the finishing line. You can do it! Come on!

I need to keep myself focused and get past these 7 or 8 months. I'm inching closer to the end of the course. Be disciplined. After this chapter, you will be going back to your favourite field, food science. The dangling carrot should be able to keep me focused and get past the finishing line. Soon. It's coming very soon. 我行的! 加油!

Right, I shall have 1 game of FM and rest earlier tonight. I need more sleep. Nite, blog.

end of assignment break!

2011-09-17T01:59:00.002+08:00

Yay! It's the end of assignment break. So there will be no more assignments to do? Nah..fat hope! So far, I've been on track. Completed the Managing Change assignment and completed my part on International Marketing group assignment. However, I need to start on my Strategic Management group assignment soon. And I need to start on Marketing Research report as well. In the upcoming one month, it will be just assignments after assignments for me to do. Although, I have started early and completed some of the assignments, I will only heaved a sigh of relief after I submitted all my assignments and this semester draws to a close. I need to be self-disciplined while reducing the time I spend procrastinating. This will result in less self-induced stress on myself.

Come on, J.

My mind...it's running wild again. I've been thinking about her. Why, J. Why can't you just stop your mind from thinking about impossible things? Maybe taking some time away from texting her helps. After all, she won't be taking the initiative to text me right. Why should her, anyway! After all, it has been me, trying to be thick-skinned and getting close to her. Who knows she is just being nice and entertaining me. Haha! But anyway, as time goes by, I should be thinking less about her and she will fade away from my heart. Like real, J. As if you can do that! Don't fool yourself. If only you can handle matter-of-the-heart things better. You know you can't. But..but, i really should kick those wishful thinking on my part out of my heart and head. I really should.

Moving on, the change in Arsenal really made me a very proud fan of this football club. This team is still not playing it's usual style of football but that doesn't stop them from putting in a fight in the past 2 games. Wow! How long has it been since Arsenal have a team that doesn't just do the nice and beautiful stuffs but also put in a gritty performance? This current team has been trying to show that they have guts! They make up for their slightly lower quality of technique with their grit and guts. They don't give up without a fight. I love this side of Arsenal. We are not pussy ok! This team is far better than that and we are still improving. Let's keep making improvements in every game. Tomorrow's game against Blackburn is no exception. So, Come On You Gunners! Let's show what we are made of! Fans can see the team's improvements and I'm sure we will stick together and support the team like we always have been. Never have I been so patriotic about Arsenal but maybe it's because of the mini-crisis at the start of the season that brings this side of me out.

It's late again. It seems like I always blog around this time. Sometimes, blog is just a good outlet for me. I can't possibly be talking about what I post here with my parents. And I don't want to keep pestering my friends and let them feel that I'm so annoying. So here I am, blog. I will speak all these to you. You can't run away! Too bad! Boo...

assignment break!

2011-09-15T02:29:00.003+08:00

Assignment break is supposed to be a breather since there is no school. But, due to the large number of assignments for this semester, it has not been a breather. Well, I'm not slacking much. Everyday, i'm still working hard on the assignments, but my progress is slow. This is not good. But, I will try to change. After all, it's just one month of tough work and the difficult days will be over. I am really feeling lazy for this semester. Apparently, the 1 month holiday after last semester is not benefiting me. It should be a period for me to recharge but I think I recharge too much? This ain't good. I need to put in more effort to get myself past the finishing line for this semester. I'm not thinking about getting good grades for this semester. Clearing all modules are the first thing on my mind. Once, that has become a near-certainty, then i will think about putting in more effort to score well.

I really need to work harder. The 1 month break cannot be used as an excuse whatsoever. It's all down to myself after all. This shows a lack of self-discipline on my part. Hmm, probably this period where its time to rush assignments, will be the time to gain back some bit of self-discipline. I can't afford to have little self-discipline, especially for this semester. But, I'm tired. Maybe she is right about me needing a break when the course is over. Let's not think too far. Let's get October/November out of the way first before looking too far ahead.

On a light side, I met up with her yesterday! I was really happy to be meet her again. Just like the smile on her face. We are almost sms-ing everyday. Although its just 1 or 2 messages per day, waiting for the message notification brightens up my day. However, I've ended up expecting for the message. Haiz. I might just be a normal friend to you. Why do I keep hoping and expecting too much!! Weakling...

I know messaging you frequently will not do me good. It will only makes me fall deeper. But I just feel happy to be chatting with you. 可是, 我凭什么去喜欢你...

I just love to contradict myself. Seriously.....

Really late now, good night blog!

Wednesday 7/9/11

2011-09-07T01:11:00.004+08:00

Once again, I'm here to find an outlet to let out. I really do need to stop thinking about... Nothing good will result. So I shouldn't even be thinking about it too much. Friends. Friends. Friends. Yes, friends. Don't expect. Don't think too much.

But then again, I can't help but to think. Like today, I can smile from the bottom of my heart when i see the messages. Urm! Ridiculous leh! Not doing me any good. I REALLY need to pull myself out of this. Let's do it a step at a time. Slowly...slowly. But eventually, I must pull out. It's a must. Clinging onto something that won't have an outcome is of no use. I know it's easier to say how I want to pull myself out over here. In practice, can I do it? I guess I know the answer myself. Haha.. I should resign to my own stupidity. All these years, I have not matured. Not a single bit.

Oh well, let me really try. I will practice what I preached. Maybe I will end up taking a longer time. Maybe.... I can't. :p Cui....

不要再想了，钧。不可能的。。

It doesn't pays to be a nice person

2011-09-04T01:48:00.003+08:00

I decided to blog on my way home after work. On bus, the mind was wandering. So why not allow the mind to express itself? =)

Well, I heard about a colleague contemplating to quit. She's nice and is really pleasant to work with. So to hear that she wants to quit, is quite surprising. But I heard that it was not an idea that was developed overnight. She had been toying with this thought for quite a long while. And probably something happened and it was really the last straw. But I must say that her superior in her department isn't really pleasant to work with. She can be really intimidating and too direct for some, including myself. Probably something happened between them but I didn't probe much.

What I don't understand is, how can a mild-mannered, nice person can be pushed to their limits in work? Office politics! It's really scary and disappointing. By being nice, you are trying to make it an environment for people around you. But by being nice, you are opening yourself to get hurt and get bullied. So much for being nice. Not worth...Don't be nice, let's be evil! The evil always triumph and the nice ones are the ones who look silly.

But still, the full-timers who know that the colleague wants to quit, are trying to make her change her mind. After all, who doesn't want to work with a nice person? But if quitting, can make her happier than in the current situation, why not?

Just some thoughts..

2011-09-02T00:20:00.002+08:00

It's already 12.21am now. I promised myself to sleep early tonight. Seriously am tired from all the late nights that I'm having. Been sleeping at about 3am for the past week. Not at all good for my body and the body has been giving me hints that I need to rest more. And so after voicing out my thoughts and views, i'll get to bed and have some rest before i continue working hard tomorrow.

Actually, the assignments for this semester is still manageable. But because of my pace at doing assignments, I'm spending more time on each assignment than others. Well, when you're stupid, that's what gonna happen. =)

Enough of talks about school work. Mind's always thinking about them. Need to constantly do them. I think I don't need to fill my personal space over here with them. Anyway, this place need some revamp seriously. Well, I remember why I chose black layout as my background. Was feeling lonely and feeling down, and hence the colour, black. But the new layout will be of a more vibrant colour. The tougher times should be over when Curtin is over. Life will be more colourful, right? Yes, JJ? Let's make it true. =)

Now let's talk about something happy! Been messaging her almost everyday. Every time I replied, I always longed to hear from her. If she takes it long to reply, my mind will run wild. All the time. I'm so useless seriously!! I mean, I should take it that she is just being nice and polite to be replying the messages. Longing and thinking too much is just being wishful on my part. Period. Yes, yes! I should have this mentality. That should be the case anyway. That's right! I must be able to pull myself out and not live in my dream. I'm a nobody anyway. =) But easier said than done. If only I can control my heart so well...

Let's share my joy about THE TEAM - Arsenal Football Club. 14 long years since I started supporting this team donning the red & white. This proud club celebrates its 125th year anniversary this season. But things aren't rosy for them. Star players like Cesc (home-coming) and Nasri (to get better pay) left. Many, many others left too. The start of the season isn't kind to the team either. The team looks short of confidence with the engine (Cesc) gone and Wilshere being injured, hence unable to start. Results from 3 games is a poor 1 point, an 8-2 thrashing against old arch-rivals Man Utd and only 2 goals scored so far. This, in my opinion, was pathetic! It hurts so much to see Arsenal in this situation. Things looked so gloomy...I was one of the many who were skeptical about Senior Wenger. I started calling him senile and all..jumping into conclusion too quickly. But for the past few days, after the heavy drubbing and the transfer dateline day, things CHANGED!

FIVE players were signed! Yes, that's right. FIVE. Awesome isn't it! And they are not youngsters. They are experienced players, some of them captains of their former clubs or national sides. Let's see who are the 5 players:

Andre Santos-28 years old Brazilian left-back: Judging from Youtube videos of him, this is one frightening attacking left-back. He attacks more than he defends. Not such a good addition considering that Arsenal are weak in defence. But hey, he's a 1st choice Brazilian national team left back. His defence can't be that bad right? But still, an experienced player at left-back where Clichy has left, is only positive.

Park Chu-Young-26 years old South Korean striker: The former Monaco captain was bought for a damn cheap price of 3 million pounds! Considering he captains Monaco and South Korea, at 3 million, he's a BIG bargain. I doubt he will slot in straight into the first 11 if the team continues to play 4-2-3-1. But if Wenger changes the formation back to his preferred 4-4-2, then Park alongside RVP looks great.

Yossi Benayoun-31 years old Israeli attacking midfielder: This former Liverpool, Chelsea player joins on loan for a season. Not a big fan of him but he brings with him EPL experience. That is only good for the team, when Ryo Miyaichi and Alex Oxlaid-Chamberlain has little experience. Yossi can become a good mentor for the 2 exciting youngsters. Decent addition.

Here comes the 2 bigger buys!

Per Mertesacker-26 years old German centre-back: This guy stands at 1.98m. I think he is taller than Szczesny. Wow! We were expecting Cahill, Samba or Jagielka. But Mertesacker isn't a bad choice! He only cost 10 million pounds as compared to the 17 million tag placed on Gaz Cahill. He was Werder Bremen's captain and has won 75 caps for Germany. Just the experience and leadership qualities Gunners need. Hopefully, Djourou and Koscielny keeps improving and tries to muscle Mertesacker off the confirmed right sided centre-back position. Great buy!

Mikel Arteta-29 years old Spanish centre midfielder: I must say, personally, I was hoping Wenger goes out and pay above 20 million for other midfielders. But looking at the delight from Arseblog and Jack Wilshere on twitter and from many others, perhaps having Arteta in the squad is a great addition. He has loads of EPL games under his belt. Good creativity, good vision, score goals and take dead-balls well. Sounds good eh? But he used to be injury prone. However, I heard that he is now fully fit and I hope that remains the case and he can lead the midfield line for us. =)

So now the new look Arsenal first 11 should be:

Szczesny

Sagna-Mertesacker-Vermaelen-Andre Santos

Song-Wilshere

Walcott-Arteta-Gervinho

Van Persie

This was definitely not a team that I would have imagined before the Man Utd loss. But after acquiring all these players, this doesn't look at all a weak squad! It's a good balance of youth and experience. Looks to have leadership qualities too. If the team believes in themselves, and stays fit. I don't see why the team can't win Carling Cup, or sustain a challenge in EPL. I'm not being optimistic but I seriously feel this squad does looks good.

I'm very happy these past few days because of Arsenal and her. But things will return back to normal soon.

On a side note, which is better? I continue to type my thoughts here? Or I have a new blog and start afresh? Or I get back to the traditional way of having diary? Don't know. Shall take some time to think about it.

I really do like this space I have over here. I can go on and on and the more I share, I actually feel my heart becomes 'lighter'. Like getting some rants. Makes me feel so much better. The blog feels like a close friend. Awesome! =)

Time check: 1.06am. Been blogging for about 40 mins. It's time to sleeppp.

Bye blog. Nite. Talk to ya again. =)

Just a quick update.

2011-08-30T02:55:00.003+08:00

The time now is 2.56 a.m. About time i get to bed soon. Been doing assignments/ tutorials after one another. It's really quite monumental. Too routine. But its good in a way. Makes me plan my time better.

Nothing much been happening in my life at the moment. Now is not the right hour to voice out either. I happen to think about my blog which i deserted for the past 1 month and decided to have a look at it. =)

By the way, I've been using this layout for some time, probably a year or so? It's time for a change! I will change the design soon. And probably remove some unwanted stuffs on the blog, like the un-used twitter notification link.

That's all for now.

Just a quick update.

2011-08-30T02:55:00.002+08:00

That's all for now.

Back to school...soon.

2011-07-17T01:16:00.002+08:00

The 1 month holiday is about to end. School's going to restart and it will be 1 more year of business education for me. Well, the year that has just past was challenging. Getting used to business modules isn't a smooth ride. But when has life been one? Nevertheless, i tried to take it in my stride. And attempt to approach the modules with determination. To make it worthwhile for all my mum's $$ in this course and to prove i'm of some use. At least not 100% useless bah! Hah.

Last semester was the semester which i feel i truly put in enough effort to feel satisfied apart from the secondary school 'O' Level days. 算是对得起自己吧! Results does equates to the amount of effort you put in. It really does. And so, out of the 4 modules, i had Distinction for 2 modules. Lovely! A High Distinction for Retail Marketing & Distribution, awesome!!! Wasn't expecting any High Distinction for my modules and it came as a pleasant surprise. I'm overjoyed and it spurred me to put in more effort in the upcoming semester and the 2 other semesters as well. But here's the bad news! I only got a Pass for Entrepreneurship. By far, my worse result in Curtin. I know i won't do well for that module. But certainly a Pass was unthinkable but I still did it. Bleh. It made me utterly disappointed and the good results for the other 3 modules won't make up for it at all.

I can only keep ploughing and keep working hard. When you aren't clever, you can only make up with absolute hard work. There's no other way to work this out. No way! 3 more semesters till the end of my Bachelor of Commerce (majoring in Management & Marketing). Can't wait to complete it. And get back to where i feel, i belong to. For my character, i will only struggle in a business environment. I will change to become better, learn to adapt better. But give me time. I will try. Hard.

Now, let's talk about some happy stuff. =) Thursday. Just another day of the week. But with a good companion and good activities, it will not be ordinary but memorable. A great dinner at Ma Maison @ The Central. A walk after dinner along Clarke Quay. Followed by a walk to Shaw Tower for ice-cream. Simple activities, it is. But worth remembering, nevertheless. I'm happy. But most importantly, it is to hear that she had a nice time. It's early days and more effort is needed to foster the relationship/friendship. But I just want to write over here that you are a good company and i know you slightly more le.

I keep saying i have changed. But, come to think about it, who is the real Jin Jun in the first place? What is my identity? I don't know how to answer this question. I'm not sure about my identity. But reading the letters from You will get me to do some soul searching. Think through about my life directions. I hope it's not too late! And then i can form bits of myself into a proper jigsaw puzzle. Then i can have an idea who am I!

if only every day is holi-day!

2011-07-02T01:21:00.002+08:00

Dunno how i shall start this post. Let's start it this way. It's 3 weeks into holidays. 2 more weeks and it's back to school! Excited? Not a single bit! I can't wish to complete the course when next may comes! But for now, i'll try to put in my best in the remaining 11 modules and hopefully get good grades.

Holidays has been nice. Well, not splendid. But it's not too bad. Enjoyed myself during outings with friends. Had a good rest. Sleeping in for around 8 hours is the best thing you can wish for. It just makes you feels good.

I've been catching lots of movies. Spent quite a bit of $$ but i've no idea what i spent on. I know i spent a lot on food but my wallet looks poorer than what it should be. Shucks!

I've been exercising a lot also. That's because i really need to cut down on my weight after all the extra burden i gained from snacking during exam period and from all the high-calorie food i ate. So, after being sinful, it's time to make up for it.

And oh, while at AMK Hub yesterday, i saw catherine, whom i know from the NTUC days. I was contemplating whether to go up to her and say hi. Seriously, don't know what i'm thinking loh, i was actually wondering if she still remember me and that's why i hold back. Why can't i just stop thinking so much and just do whatever it comes to mind. I will kill less brain cells and it should be better, i guess.

The assignments results for last semester were released 1 week plus back. I'm quite happy with most but there's one assignment which really made me very happy. I think i was writing really bad for the Retail Marketing & Distribution assignment and it was off-track, and it's until i made the changes and with a huge slice of luck, i managed to get 24 marks out of 30. A lucky high-distinction paper, lucky me!

Few days back, I received an email from my TP lecturer, Mr. Tan Kian Beng, regarding QA/QC vacancies in Nestle. I was so happy to see the email and this is a position i've always wanted. But this opportunity came knocking at the wrong time. Still got 1 more year to go in Curtin, so i will need to forego any good opportunities that comes knocking my door between now and next May.

I hope i get to encounter when i'm graduating. Food science jobs are hard to come by. And to have available QA/QC jobs is not easy too. Let's see if i have the fate to meet any nice jobs when i'm graduating. For now, i shall forget about the Nestle position. But once again, what a waste! It's just not something that always comes by. Not that i will get in but...you know, it's just such a good opportunity.

2 more weeks of holidays and a new semester will begin. And it is just the start of a tough 3 semesters. Let's hope time passes by quick and before i realise, it will be May 2012 already....

holiday starts!!

2011-06-13T01:09:00.002+08:00

Finally! The day that i've looked forward to has come. Not that i have a lot of plans of things i intend to do during this period. But rather, it's a time when i can get to allow my mind to relax. Without the need to worry about my studies. The last paper for this semester, Retail Marketing & Distribution, felt just so hard to clear. Part of the mind and heart is thinking about holidays, about taking a break and this makes studying for this paper tougher than its already is.

But somehow, the paper turns out manageable. I don't think i'll score well. But at least, it's possible to get some kind of decent results which is pleasing, given that i felt i didn't put in enough effort for it. Tried and tried to revise for 3 times but when the information can't get into your mind. It just can't.

The ending of this paper marks the start of many other good things to happen on Friday. As for the paper, my seat number 167, had number 16 in it. My favourite number! Probably my favourite number decides to turns lucky to lend me a helping hand. Thanks!

So, after the paper, i went to gym. And on my way to take the train to tampines, i happen to see suan cher across the road! It's been a long while since my secondary school class had a class gathering. 3 years? 4 years? It'd been a long time since i see her. Happy to see a long-time-no-see friend. IT Fair, Hangover 2 and dinner were the other activities on the itinerary for Friday. Dinner at a japanese restaurant at suntec was good. The chat with kit was good. And yah, i saw bokai and ming xuan at suntec too. See! Isn't this a lucky day? 2 groups of friends that i didn't see for a long, long time. And incredibly, i get to see them on the SAME day. Bought a new mouse to replace my faulty mouse at IT Fair and Hangover 2 was a movie of crude jokes but nonetheless very funny!

The good things are happening. This spells a good start to this holidays. And true enough, it really is a good start. And so, on saturday, where i was least expecting to hear from her. She emailed me, telling me about how's she doing. Wasn't expecting to hear from her honestly, but nevertheless, i'm really happy to receive the email.

The heart starts to think again. Haiz.

1 day into 24th..

2011-06-05T00:36:00.002+08:00

Yeap. Birthday was yesterday. It was spent very peacefully. Not the way i would have liked to spend my birthday. I mean, a test today simply means i really can't afford to relax on my birthday isn't it. And not to mention, i tried to study since the study week last week but nothing much is going into my useless brain. This needs to be improved in the upcoming week. Just two more exams only!! Shouldn't be having this kind of attitude.

Anyway, i'm very 感动 to receive all the birthday wishes on fb and through messages. Be it close friends, good friends, friends or acquaintance, I deeply appreciate them. I mean it from the bottom of my heart.

And today, my CBD colleagues in kino got me a birthday cake. A dark chocolate, rum & raisin flavoured one. Love it. Don't dare to wish for anybody to have a birthday celebrations for me. When friends remember my birthday, i'm more than happy le. So, last year's celebration while I was at Brisbane and this year when i'm working in kino, i'm very happy le. Being easy to be satisfied allows me to feel happy, so isn't that good!

Every year, i will do an annual review of what i've done over the past year. Any improvement through the years. It works like a scorecard. Once again, i scored a big fat zero on my relationship report card. Well, i have only myself to blame and no one else. As simple as that. Friendship report card is next. Have i been a good friend? Worthy friend? I can do better. A mere pass would be reasonable. Next, the son scorecard. Have i been a good son. Filial? Caring for parents? Caring for grandma? Not good enough either. Not been visiting grandma often. Even though she's having senile dementia and don't really remember me. I will always have memories of her taking care of me when i was a child. =) Now, studies report card. Where's my fulfilling of my target of A for all my modules? Nowhere near. Need to work harder. When you don't have the brains, you can only compensate with your hard work. There's no other way.

Perhaps, it's time for me to read YOUR letters. These letters are truly an inspiration to me. And, i do think i have changed. For the better or for the worse. I don't know. Feeling lost really. Need the letters to serve as guidance. After the exams are over, i will search for my true self. It's also time for me to tick myself off. Keep saying after exams, after exams, i better keep my promise and be a man of words.

Really hope no one comes here to read my rants. Who cares about these rants anyway. Who did i think i am? Haha...head growing big. :p

Exams on this coming thursday and friday. Well-prepared? Nowhere near. Still a way to go. But i'm not going to give up and not revise hard. If i stick to my plan, i will be fine. After the exams are over, i shall do more activities youngsters (or rather i should say, people of my age) should do. There will be more happy posts and maybe i should post more rather than once a semester.

Sometimes i really don't know how to say what i say over here to friends. What if they don't want to listen? This place is too important. See. After typing the feelings out, the heart feels light. I feel like i can breathe. 压抑情绪是不好的. Haha!

Oh..oh!! The fweeling to try taekwondo is back!! That is after i found a taekwondo academy that takes adult students. Happy sia!! I hope the fees aren't expensive. Really, really wanna try. If it's too expensive, then i change to join SAFRA running club bah. Ok! This is the plan. I shall stick to it. No more 三分钟热度. :p

Lastly, i must say that it has been a while since i like someone. Very long le. Got 2 or 3 years le. This girl, i'm talking about is really a good girl. Whether it's possible to work out or not. I do hope that we can be friends. Preferably, very good friends! Am i too greedy??

i'm back!!

2011-03-01T00:02:00.002+08:00

3 months? 4 months? About there..it's been this long since I wrote something here. I haven't deserted this place, didn't want to do that anyway. This has always been a place for me to 'speak'. Whatever I don't know how to express, whatever I can't bring myself to express, will be done here. To record down what I'd done or not done in my life.

These past 3 odd months has been a test. A stern test. Coping studying and working part-time ain't easy. Not that the 1st semester in curtin and starting work at kinokuniya didn't give me a good enough hint to tell myself that I'm not good enough to handle both things at the same time. Did thought of quitting. Quitting the part-time job that is. Tried. Persuaded. Stayed. Period. And so I continue in that part-time job in kinokuniya, and because I felt inferior or I don't know what kind of feeling that is, I kept to myself and have few friends. Things start to get better recently and hopefully it stays that way. Sometimes, its just that I find myself being contradicting. And at times I feel that I should smash myself against the wall. Hmm...yeah.

A colleague from the Japanese Books department just quitted. Kinda came at a surprise. She started worked not long ago and I remembered I asked her how long she thinks she will work in Kinokuniya (kinda weird question to ask when I first know her) and her reply was "1 or 2 years" and now she has lefted for a new venture. Nevertheless, hope her new job is more rewarding than the one she hold in Kinokuniya.

Now to some happy stuffs. Few weeks back, this female customer went up to me and approach me and asked me about some books on this band named 'Tokyo Hotel'. Well, it's not the content of the conversation that made me happy. It's the person. This is one time I really find my heart pounding real fast! As in really can sense that huge difference. Let me realise that I still have feelings. I'm not turned into a machine yet! Not yet at least. Though, there's no follow-up until maybe we might see each other on the street and I FINALLY have some courage to go up to her and take some actions. But this girl is just special. She TOTALLY have the looks that fit the image I portrayed to be 'my dream girl'. And since I mentioned happy stuffs in the beginning of this paragraph, the other happy stuff would be I found a new outlet to vent my unhappiness! It's turning one hobby I enjoyed and using it to forget any unhappiness I have. And this new outlet is through eating! Or to be more precise, it's to indulge in food! I have the tendency to gobble lots of food down my stomach whenever I'm unhappy or stressed. And this has led to my weight to sky-rocket. Need to have some kind of discipline on my actions. This ain't right.

And now to some unhappy stuff. There is only one thing that can make me unhappy or stressed until I graduate and that has to be studies. This semester that has just ended has proved to be the biggest test. Maths and History are 2 subjects which let me have confidence in myself in studies 'coz I did reasonably back in my secondary school days. But as I handled accounting this semester, I started out feeling confident till the point when I collected my mid-sem test and group assignment that made my confidence level plunged to the rock-bottom. Absolutedly gutted by my results. I approached the final exam for accounting feeling stressed and with the fear of failing the module. It felt terrible. Luckily, I managed in time to get myself back on track and I believed I just managed to scrape through. A lucky escape for me.

Next trimester will start after this short 1 week break. Need to recharge my 'batteries' well and prepare for the next trimester and after that, a 1 month break awaits. Whee...!! 2 more trimesters are gone, 4 more remains. I shall approach this remaining 4 trimesters with gusto and will learn to have better time management to juggle studies and work. GilbertoSilver came up with the slogan 'Cesc, we can!' and I shall come up with one for myself 'Jun, you can!'.

人类因梦想而伟大.....

Long Time No Blog..

2010-11-23T15:31:00.002+08:00

*Hoo* *Hoo* *Hoo* wah..what a thick amount of dust it has accumulated over here. I've vacated this space for months! To be exact, I haven't had a single post ever since I'm back in Singapore. Now that I have 6 days of break (including 2 days of work on weekends), I'm back here to give some energy to this ignored space.

Been back in Singapore for 4 months plus le. I've been keeping myself busy with school work and a little bit of work over the weekends at Kinokuniya. Life has been busy in school in Curtin Singapore. The first 1 or 2 months was quite a breeze with not much assignments due and haven't started work yet and also I did not allow myself to go out much to control my own expenses. But the next 2 months plus from September all the way till now has been a new challenge.

Schoolwork starts to pile up. Due dates for assignments are coming thick and fast. Several tests are coming at the same time. Moreover, I've got myself a part-time job in Books Kinokuniya as bookstore assistant. I chose to give myself this challenge of balancing studies with work, so I can have no complaints. So far, the planning of my time has been okay, and the balancing act is still working well. True enough, this new challenge hasn't been easy but at least i didn't achieve my aim of not making my parents to support my expenses. The monthly installments of the flat is enough for the father.

Work. I'm still learning the rope and still picking up skills. Perhaps, I haven't been able to be a useful help at the moment. But I'll try hard not to be a burden to the full-timers. School work has been decent so far. It started well. Grades were decent and it gave me confidence to keep going. Not forgetting, someone's encouragement in the past has been an inspiration to keep having faith in myself.

Recently, Radio 1003 has been playing clips of Mariah Carey & Whitney Houston's When You Believe. This is one of the songs I ever understand its lyrics due to it being one of the song which I performed while I was in choir in the primary school days. Lyrics from this song is an inspiration.

Next semester will have no mid-semester break at all, because of the 2 weeks break we had for this semester. Therefore, better time management is needed for next semester. Time to take each challenge in its stride and learn to conquer them! =)

There can be miracles, when you believe. Though hope is frail, it's hard to fear!

Rampaging through E51..

2010-06-20T14:12:00.004+08:00

I decided to take out my E51, with my singtel SIM card, and switch it on to check for any incoming new messages. No idea what I was hoping to see but I just felt like taking a look. And so, there isn't any new messages apart from a message from an Australian telecom company's greeting message. This phone has been through thick and thin with me for 1 plus year in NS and a few more months before I got Tattoo. So I decided to scan at my old messages in my inbox.

Looking through the old messages made me recall my life after my ORD where my oldest sms was dated. And as I looked through each and every message and start to delete them, the two 'outstanding' incidents bring back some unhappy memories in my plain and dull life. One incident was a case of forgetting a secondary school buddy's birthday. And my other 2 buddies and myself were discussing how to make it up to that buddy and try to think of ways to mend the situation. It was a good ending after all and I'm more than pleased. It's years of friendship we are talking about here.

And another incident was stopping the contact with one army friend. I made this decision after some of the things he said and now that I come to think of it, it might be just a rash decision by myself. It could be a wrong move on my part. Just like the case with shingo, I just could have done better on my part, I guess. Like clearing things up, be more frank.

Nevertheless, from these two incidents, I think I can take more positives than negatives from the experience. Like learning to handle friendship better. Perhaps the incidents are unhappy ones, but I think if you can learn from the experience, it ain't that bad eh. But last year wasn't just about bad moments. At least, I tried not to be a coward. Two years ago, I ducked away from you, hide in my own shell. I'm glad I decided to come out of my shell and face the fact.

This leads me to thinking why does human or rather myself, only get to learn only after certain things has happened. When things or people are by your side, or with you, normally tends to take things for granted, it will always be when you lose or going to lose something, then you will learn to treasure it more. Cheap. So cheap.

today..

2010-06-03T22:53:00.004+08:00

it's been a while since I've wrote something. Missed you, blog! Haha..This week has been a pretty good week. I feel my luck is on a high. Very high indeed. First, it happens with the academic matters. My first report written in over 2 years plus was a 2.95 out of 5. Wasn't good at all. And this week, I got back my 2nd one. It was a 4.35 out of 5. Whoa! This wasn't anywhere near my expectations. I had lost all confidence in that module as I feel I couldn't achieve the results I want. This was the 1st of 2 pleasant surprises.

The other pleasant surprise was with my bio practical worksheet. It's a well-known fact that I suck extremely at bio, it's to the point of being atrocious. The worksheet wasn't done well in my opinion at all. I expected a mark of less than 2 out of 7. Yes, 2 or less out of 7, that was my expected results. It was THAT bad. I wasn't feeling good for the past week. I fear going for the coming practical and seeing such results. I have enough of such results in poly year 1 in Science and Food Preparation, i think i got results like 0.5 out of 5 before. It sucks. I wasn't someone confident in the first place, getting such results only make it worse. Anyway, enough of the sidetrack, back to my bio practical worksheet, I got it back in the lab. I looked at my results, I looked at the name on the worksheet. It's mine! Absolutely shocking! In a pleasant way, actually. I got 5 out of 7. It wasn't well done but comparing the actual result and my expected one, it definitely came as a shock. No joke.

And also, the celebration today. It was a memorable one. I'm not those that like to have a birthday party. My only birthday party was when I was still a kid and it was a mini gathering with relatives. Since then, my birthday have been a meal with good friends and having singing session, bowling, or catching a movie. Something simple, BUT I'm more than contented with such activities. First and foremost, to have friends to remember my birthday is good enough for me. It don't have to be a spectacular day, simple things are enough to make me feel happy. Because I believe in having things simple and it would be the company of THE FRIENDS that makes the day special. I don't long for any special treatment or any special way to celebrate. I might give the impression that I don't like to celebrate my birthday but it's because I don't want my friends to make that effort to plan. Planning isn't easy.

And today, it was a day of the simple things happening together. A dinner at "Little Hong Kong" at Sunnybank. Followed by, having a chocolate cheesecake at Mount Coot-tha, our favourite place during my first weeks in Brisbane with my friends. And on the way back, we saw the moon being soooo close to us. It's like the moon don't look like it's high up there at the sky, it looks more like a hot-air balloon actually. Not to mention, the sky was clear and stars are brightly lit. And I got a meaningful birthday card as well. All these events are simple but when you know that your friends take the effort to get things going. It's just touching. So, thanks to wee kiong, linda, mickey, H, jie xin, xiang hong and jie xin's sis (jie ying)! It's memorable and it definitely holds a place in my heart along with my 17th birthday. Great friends, great memories. I can be able to write my emotions down but it would be rare to hear it coming from my mouth.

Noticed that I removed the birthday on my facebook profile? I purposely removed it. I'm just a nobody on this world, I don't need so many wishes. I'm more than contented with wishes from true friends.

i learn this from taiwanese idol drama

2010-05-09T23:07:00.002+08:00

like my title says, i learnt something from an episode in a drama. It was a dialogue of an actor from the show. He said that no matter how he made changes to his external looks, what's inside him remains the same. After hearing it, I pondered about it for a while. And it was well-said. Like for my case, no matter how much I lose weight, or how much more muscle mass I gain, I still feel inferior and lack confidence. I guess, I need to work from inside out then. But can I do it?

Anyway, today's Mama Day. =) Happy Mama Day!

JJ Wanderers..

2010-04-28T14:58:00.011+08:00

my mind have been wandering around quite frequently. And as it wonders, my mind just keep thinking about more and more things. Can't seem to remove them out of my head either. Before I came over here, I thought as a single child, and being used to loneliness, staying alone at studio apartment won't matter much. But I was proven wrong! Because I'm the only child, I don't like to be alone, and I'm lonely not because I want to. But at home, at least I still can crap, or find my mum to have someone to talk to, physically. Now in my room, there's no one to talk to. And sometimes, you will long for someone to talk to.

One matter I gave some thoughts to, is whether to be contented with life or to be ambitious? For me, I'm pretty contented with life. Well, I've got doting parents and met great friends along my life.

In primary school, I have giap seng as my best friend. He's top in class and I'm last but that didn't stop him from being my friend. Had a great 4 years of primary school friendship, didn't met for 8 years (in secondary school, poly and army) until recently, and I hope this friendship shall continue for years to come.

Then comes to secondary school, I met shaun on the first day of school, we had no other friends from primary school in that secondary school and from then on, we had a great 3 years of havoc time with kelvin until shaun left for UK. And then, I've got kit, huat, bert, sont & juan who have been wonderful. Its hard to meet bert & sont that often nowadays as compared to kit & huat due to their busy schedule.

And then in poly, I was close with wai, shingo and kenny, till some unpleasant things happened between myself and shingo. But nevertheless, I got to meet yx & lil and with the 4 of us (wai, yx, lil & myself), our activities are always happening and fun.

And more recently in BMT, I got to meet terence & hz. Am still in good contact with terence but with hz, unpleasant things happened and I don't meet him nowadays. And also, my mu friends, kenny, rabbit, yin ki, cm, cj, jw, yx, kp, da kc & xiao kc. A nice bunch of people who showed me the detemination needed in life.

Last but not least, my 'family' that I know here in altitude. Kiong, mic, H, jx, linda & xh. If I can keep in close contact with all the great friends listed, shouldn't I be contented. Of course, not forgetting my parents.

But to be contented easily doesn't necessary spells good stuff. Because that means I don't have the fighting spirit. And that leads to the other scenario of being ambitious. You need to have fighting spirit to be ambitious, without fighting spirit, that should just be called wishful thinking. But then, with ambitious people, thats where I think people starts to lose themselves. 'Coz with one target achieved, people starts to aim for more and tougher targets and sometimes they lose themselves in it, make enemies because of their goals, lose loved ones. And at the end of the day, this isn't what they want. Ouch! Anyway, I think I really think too much le. I guess I'm really bored. :p

me = pig!!

2010-04-15T21:49:00.005+08:00

Yeah, like the title suggests..I'm really a pig. I'm supposed to wake up at 6 plus today. Prepare, and head off for lecture. But I overslept till 12 noon! Sleep at 5am? No excuse. Slept for 2 hours the previous day? No excuse either. The 2nd time I overslept since I came here. The first time was because of my laziness, I kept snoozing my alarm clock. This time round, I didn't even snooze my alarm clock at all! I just slept through the annoying noise of alarm clock. Nice one, JJ..really nice..

So, from tonight onwards, I'm going to have 3 alarms to make sure this won't happen again. An alarm clock, an alarm from handphone & an alarm from ipod touch. If this doesn't help...I really don't know what will help? Maybe someone crying out "Fire! Fire!" might help. =(

My post stops here. There's nothing interesting below. Till next post...

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Ever wondered if you have worked so hard for something and when you get it, you didn't want it THAT badly and start to regret. I can't remember when I heard this before or where exactly did I see this from. This made me give it some thoughts. And I find it pretty true. Let me state an example. I'm not sure if this is a good example to give. For example, you've known a girl. And you think you really like her alot. Then put in a lot of effort to try to know her, woo her and in the end, got together. But once you two are together. You realised you like her but not exactly in the form that you long for her to be your girlfriend, you just feel comfortable with her around, that's about it. And by then, it's already a few years into the relationship and starts to regret. What will you do? Tough situation isn't it?

Ah..! Thought of another scenario. Say you aren't a very academic inclined student. Then you went to a open house by a university. From there, you've gained interest on a particular course. And to get in, you need good grades. So, you mug & mug and you've managed to get the grades necessary to get in. And you've got in! And so, you started studying that course and in the last year, you've realised this isn't what you want, how? Finish it & continue to work in the industry related to the course? You could be unhappy in the job. Finish it & work in another industry? If that's the case, what's the point of studying hard to do the course & work in somewhere irrelevant. But, that should be the better choice though.

My point is, sometimes you work real hard to get something you think you really want. But is that the thing you really want? Will you be really happy when you've achieved it? Will you regret that you've spent so much effort & you aren't that happy when you have it? I would say, follow your heart. Whatever it is, it's most important to be happy. So what if you are drawing huge salary, holding a high position in your company's hierachy with nice car & nice house but you've missed out on involvement in your family & gatherings with buddies because of work commitment. These are things where u can't buy with $$, would you be happy, even with lots of $$ with you?

Perhaps I'm reading too much into it. But then again, you will only know if you are happy with anything unless you've worked hard for it and put in effort to achieve it. Without trying, you wouldn't know. Hah. I just contradict myself, isn't it?

Hope no one reads till this sentence and hear my ranting.

Easter break..

2010-04-07T09:52:00.002+08:00

It's been slightly over a week since my previous post but many things has happened. Let's talk about studies first. Got my 2nd assignment for Food Sensory back, got 9/10. Pretty pleased with it because it was worth my effort. But I felt jealous when i saw friends getting full marks. Because initially their answers weren't correct until we discussed answers. Now I know why kelvin don't like to share his answers to maths homework in secondary school. I can totally understand how it feels to work hard just to give answers away. But then, we cannot be selfish, isn't it?

The planned road trip for Easter to New South Wales was cancelled and was replaced with 2 day trips. But before the day trips start, we went for a singing session at SunnyBank & a trip down to Fortitude Valley a.k.a Brisbane Chinatown. The singing session was a tat too short 'coz we have 7 people and we only had 3 hours slot and during that time, dinner was provided as well. But it's good enough to be able to sing! Fortitude Valley was average, Singapore's Chinatown is much much better. There's only restaurants & pubs there. Anyway, it's popular for its clubbing lifestyle. After fortitude valley, we went to Mount Gravatt. The location of the mountain is good, as you can see a large area of Brisbane. But the lookout was partly blocked by the vegetations and it wasn't as good a lookout as Mount Coot-tha.

Here comes the day trips. First, on Sunday, we went to this lake which is about 30 mins drive from home. That place is really WOW! The water is clear. Surroundings are peaceful, a really nice place to chill. And then, we went to Red Cliffe. Yes, you didn't see wrongly. It is Red Cliffe. There's a beach over there, just like Surfers' Paradise. But once you're there, you'll know why Surfers' Paradise has the word 'paradise' and Red Cliffe have the word 'red'. Surfers' Paradise is really like a paradise as the scenery is great and the water is gorgeous. But Red Cliffe has slightly muddy water, carparks there aren't the best either. It's hard to move around.

Next, was the Monday trip to Byron Bay & Mount Tamborine. Byron Bay is located on the outskirt of New South Wales. So, by car, it took us 2 hours to get there from Brisbane. We left at 3am, in the hope of getting there for sunrise. So, there we set off with all 7 of us in our 'uniform', which is our personalised t-shirt. But things didn't go too well, as the engine oil for one of the cars was used up. And we took a bit of time at the petrol station before we head off. We were running out of time for sunrise as we can see the sky starting to turn bright as we cruise on the highway.

But nevertheless, we reached Byron Bay, and get to see part of the sunrise. The beach over there is heavenly. Perhaps there's other places where there's nice beaches. But this is definitely one of the best scenery attraction that I've ever been to. And as we scout around the whole bay, the view from the lighthouse is even better. Pictures should be up on Facebook soon. But after Byron Bay, things didn't go too well. H returned to his car, feeling emo. And some traffic hiccups happened on our way to Mount Tamborine, in Gold Coast. And in Mount Tamborine, H & jx had a quarrel. That made the trip not as wonderful but nevertheless, I was happy with my first road trip ever. Now that I've enjoyed myself, it's time to immerse into studies.

mood = low..

2010-03-29T21:20:00.002+08:00

All the fun shall end le. Just received the marks for my 1st assignment today. Got a 6/10. Disappointed. Seems like I could be getting one of the lower marks? It's not like I didn't put in any effort leh. Perhaps I'm really rusty after not touching any academic items for 2 years. But I was really expecting a much better grade as I was quite confident when I completed it. The 2nd assignment has got to be better. Felt really disappointed and ashamed today. One lesson learnt.

Easter Break is going to start this weekend. I'm going off for a road trip with friends but I doubt I'll enjoy it thoroughly, 'coz my mind will be full of studies. Mid-semester tests are coming up. And there's this biology module which is extremely scary for me, and chicken feet for others. No class on this wed, so it will be revision day! I couldn't understand most of the items taught for that module, and it is supposed to be basics! u sure its basics?! Throw me back to secondary school then, let me get my basics right first.

Anyway, I think I can proudly call myself the Microwave King. My cooking is mainly done using microwave. I cooked rice with microwave, cooked sausages with microwave, heat up milk for making mocha in microwave, and microwave bread too. This is for not having enough utensils & cutlery.

It's time to meet the assignments and notes le. Bye...~~

3rd time to Mount Coot-tha!!

2010-03-13T23:49:00.002+08:00

I really love going to Mount Coot-tha! I like the car ride there. And when you're up there at the viewing area, the night scene of the city area is great. Just imagine a big cake & all the buildings' lightings are like candles on the cake. It's really nice. Not forgetting you can see many stars in the sky. Which makes the place good for sky-glazing. By far, my favourite hang-out place.

These few days has been quite happening even though we're all pretty low in morale. Yesterday we went to Queensland Transport Authority, but H couldn't change his car plate yet. Then we head to Indooroopilly where we have dinner & movie. We watched Remember Me. It was not a bad show but the cinema wasn't fantastic. It's cheap because we get to watch it at student's price of 7 bucks but the sound system broke down for some time in the middle of the show.

We went over to RSPCA to look at cats & dogs this afternoon and head down to Sunny Bank, which sells alot of Asian stuffs, for a dessert & walk around. Then we had pizza for dinner & watched a movie at kiong's unit. And then, lastly we head for Mount Coot-tha.

The entertainment part of my life here is pretty fun. Food is quite good too. Cheap & good. But I haven't really get down to serious studying. There will be more assignments to do & there will only be less play. But for now, I shall enjoy the fun first.

Points to Ponder..

2010-03-05T13:32:00.000+08:00

This post is mainly inspired by wai's recent post. I saw 1 word that give me inspiration to thrash out my feelings. And that word is...good-for-nothing. Haha.

Why this word inspires me leh? It's 'coz I think I'm a good-for-nothing too. I can't think of something that I can look back & really be proud of. Nothing to make my parents proud of me. Nothing to make my friends proud of me. Absolutely nothing! I don't care about myself. Parents happy, friends happy, I will be happy.

And with this recent issue that is bothering me, the feeling that I'm useless is even stronger. Well, I find my trip here to Brisbane for studies is too big a step forward. I took such a long time to come out with this decision but yet I think it's not a good one at all. Dad needs to pay instalments for home, Mum is using her savings to get me here. Yes, I should stay but I'm sure the burden will be bigger on their shoulders & I DON'T WANT THAT TO HAPPEN. First of all, they're not young anymore, by that I mean, they should be at the age where they can retire & enjoy life more le. Still need to support me to study overseas? Big task..

My situation is different from most people. Every single step or decision that I made, must be more careful, the chance to commit mistake must be as close to as zero. I need to think of my future & at the same time, able to get a good job so that I can provide better life for my parents. 'Coz I should be the one supporting them now not the other way round. My parents aren't giving me any pressure, I'm the one harbouring all these thoughts because I think with all the care I got, they deserve better.

Which brings me down to where I see myself in the future? Dunno? What I will be doing? Dunno? I'm not really picky on what to study & what to work as. Right now I'm at a crossroad. There's many ways to move forward. But I don't know which is the better way.

But right now, I'm leaning towards a more practical route, dreams can come later. My ice cream parlour, wait for me!

Time to do my assignments! Keep playing games & haven't touch my assignment.. =(

no class today.. =)

2010-03-03T15:24:00.002+08:00

There's no bio lab today. Woohoo~! Slept till 12pm then wake up. Feels fully recharged. Prepared my brunch, which is cheese & ham sandwich. A cheap & easy to prepare item.

Supposed to start working on my mini Major Project today. But i only did a little bit of research. Spent my time playing FM & going to Toowong to search for a cheap printer. Can't delay starting work anymore le. MUST do it tonight. And I met keith in Toowong while doing my shopping. He said I had slim down ALOT. Well, I don't really know why but I feel so much lighter than before, so I think that's a good thing?? But my interaction with him was only in year 1 or year 2 of poly, so I must have been fat or I had changed. Anyway, he was quite shocked to hear of me coming to study alone. Why ah? This is not the first time i see someone having this expression when I told them that I came alone.

Anyways...finally I saw some sunlight today after like 3 consecutive days of rain. But its not like today didn't rain, its just that today's slightly better than any of the previous 3 days. Hopefully, there won't be any rain for the next few days.

5th Day in Brisbane..

2010-02-25T23:38:00.002+08:00

How's it going, mate? Time passes quite fast, & before I know it, orientation is ending & school is going to start soon.

Well, I wasn't that excited about starting school before I came over. And on the first day I'm over in Brisbane, I wasn't feeling that fantastic about living in a new environment. But up till today, I'm getting used to life here. Just that, I think my chatting with friends in the balcony is pissing the neighbours off! I even got a notice from the manager of the apartments.

Friends have been great. Know a few Malaysians, 1 Hong Konger & several Singaporeans. The feeling of going back to school is coming back & knowing some new friends certainly helps.

Been going to different friend's unit to cook dinner for yesterday & today. And today after dinner & a comedy session, we decided to take a stroll around the suburb, Taringa. We walked down King's Rd, which was a very very steep road. Going down was fun. Jogging back was even better. Next up, we went to Princess St, which was like a 'W' shape road. And we did all these at about midnight. Fun!

But but but, school hasn't been nice so far. First, it was the academic transcript issue. Next, its with the my diploma certificate. That guy just likes to find new stuffs to deal with me. And after yesterday's 1 hr 30 mins of meeting that advisor, the courses he arranged for me have clashes for my timetable. I went to school to ask him about the clashes, he refused to change the courses & he asked me to make sacrifice loh. Thanks ah! Good one! I'm sure to miss 1 lecture per week for the course, which is a biology-based one. And the sacrifice I have to make is sure to miss the bio course. The other 2 courses, only has 1/2 lecture slots whereas the bio course has 3 slots. But missing a lecture certainly is not helping me since its my weakest subject.

Anyway, having a dilemma now. Been wondering whether I've made the right decision...too adventurous? We shall see. Right now, I'm keeping my options open & I shall take things one step at a time. =)

life in Brisbane..

2010-02-23T16:16:00.002+08:00

This is the 3rd day since I've touched down to Brisbane. Its quite a nice city. A different environment. But these few days it's been full of ups & downs. But nevertheless, its an experience gained.

First unpleasant thing I got here was not being able to get to my room. Imagine being here alone, not knowing anyone. And arriving on Sunday 6am, with no one working in the apartment's office. How nice isn't it?

If it wasn't for a Singaporean uncle, I think I prolly have to sleep on the streets. Haha. Luckily he got me to know his son, who lend me his phone so I can call someone from the office for help. And that's the first friend I know here. And after knowing him, I got to know a Malaysian dude. And now at least I have a few friends.

But the downside of coming here is, it is stressful enough to know that most Singaporeans who come over here are mainly scholars. And I got here, through barely scraping through, i guess. And the standard of living is quite high, higher than I expected. If I think I'm placing too much burden on my parents financial after keeping my expenses to the minimal, I really have to look for other solutions.

And after going for the opening talks by my faculty & my course, it only gets worse. I think the Professor in charge of Food Technology & Food Science really is not flexible. He say he needs my ORIGINAL academic transcript to help me with the exemptions & advise me on the choosing of courses. But when I told him I got the photocopied version instead of the original one, he still insist on me getting him the original one. Well, why I'm pissed is, I didn't bring the original copy with me. I got a photocopied one. And I don't understand why he have to stand firm on his decision on such issue? Both are the same stuffs, and now I need to ask my parents to send the transcript over just to make him happy with the colour logo of TP. Purposely don't want to bring the original transcript in case I lose it, & now I still have to bring it over. Haha.

Anyway, feel like joining 2 societies. 1 being the Singapore Student Society, the other one is the society for my school. Hopefully I'll have time for studies, and hopefully I don't have to pay. =)

Chinese New Year celebrations & flying off to study

2010-02-19T19:03:00.003+08:00

This CNY has not been the best of CNY for me. My mind wasn't on enjoying it. My body wasn't able to enjoy it either. How to enjoy when I had diarrhoea from CNY eve to late afternoon of CNY 1st day. I didn't have a good sleep thanks to my visiting of toilet throughout the night on CNY eve. So, I will make this my final warning to treat my body well.

Putting the diarrhoea aside, CNY has becoming repetitive to me. After doing the same sequence for so many years, I don't really feel the hype. Maybe because collecting hong bao don't mean the same to me anymore. When I was young, I so looked forward to CNY because getting hong bao = alot of $$. Nowadays, having hong bao means getting the good wishes from the seniors. In fact, I had the idea of stop receiving hong bao when I'm 25. I'm starting to feel embarassed receiving hong bao. Its like I'm able to support myself le & if any peers around my age gives me any hong bao, its got to be awkward to accept them. But having conversations with relatives are nice. But my cantonese is still sub-standard.

By the way, this year I received 'lai si' apart from hong bao. It was meant to be good wishes for my studies in Brisbane. It was a very nice gesture from relatives from my father's side. Truly appreciate it. With the wishes, it will spur me on to work doubly hard.

I met up with giap seng on the 2nd day of CNY. It was great to see him again. I was afraid topics can't flow naturally after not meeting him for 8 years. But it turned out well. We ended up chatting for hours. And if it wasn't for dinner time, I think we can continue for even longer. I will definitely meet him more often. The first true buddy that I met.

Kenny came over to Kallang this afternoon to meet me for lunch before my flight tomorrow. Both him & rabbit got me a headphone as a gift. It came as a surprise for me. But then again, knowing Kenny, that's his style of showing concern. This wasn't the first time he did that. And we were even together in getting gifts to our regulars as ORD gifts, stirring up a havoc that set all of them kaypo to know each other's gift. And if I don't have things to do, I think we can chat longer than we did before he goes back to NTU for his class. In fact, he make the trip to & fro NTU and Kallang just to meet me for lunch lah. Appreciated. =)

Tomorrow will be the day when I'll be away to some unfamiliar territory for studies. Uncertainties are growing, my thoughts are flying everywhere. However, at this point of time, what keeps me going is the thought of my life after these 2 years of studies. Its what made me came to this decision. I'm actually gave myself a huge load to carry on my shoulders. Not sure I'm doing the right thing. But this is currently spurring me on & this thought is diverting other unhappy thoughts.

I just heard this quotation not long ago. Something new that I learnt. Here's the quotation: Being overly humble is being hypocrite. Anyone reading this post, ponder over this. So this is how being too humble turns out in the eyes of others.

大嘴巴-喇舌....This song just stayed in my mind the moment I'm hooked to it! This song so catchy, just listen to 喇舌 can le, still need to 喇舌 meh? :p

juz look at how lazy i am...

2010-02-02T20:53:00.003+08:00

Haven't touched my com since my last post. This show how lazy & reluctant i am, to use my com. Got Ipod Touch mah, so can surf net on it, hence giving me fewer reasons to use the com.

So, I shall categorise what my activities for the past few 2 weeks.

Fun

Had a happening time 2 Saturdays ago. Firstly, I went out with huat & kit for a movie. So touched that kit managed to squeeze some time out from his insanely tight studying schedule for a meet-up. It was 'coz I'm leaving for studies soon, and thus he's willing to make the sacrifice. I came home after the movie, and not soon later, I was out again. This time, with cw, lil & yx to Party World for some singing session. Sang from midnite to the wee hours of Sunday morning. And I end up feeling satisfied from the 2 activities for the day.

Work

Finally into the last day of work. And it is going to be a half day. Getting really tired from all the work le. I haven't have a good break since ORD 6 months ago. It's about time I get a little bit of rest before going for studies. Talking about work, the colleagues at NTUC have been very nice & kind. They have been nice towards me, even though there's hiccups once in a while. And they even treated me & my buddy for a meal last week as a farewell celebrations. I'm quite lucky for the past 2 & half years. Be it army or in NTUC, I've met pleasant people along the way.

Food

I've been a very egg-y person for a week or more. In fact, i think its until today then I stop having eggs DAILY. It's a record for me! But what's there to be proud of?!?! LOL...

Exercise

Couldn't do any bit of jogging for the past 1 week after doing OT for the past 4 days. I will be so tired after work, but I'm going to compensate the lack of jogging with some badminton this week.

Another bit of exercising which I've been crazy about is doing weights. Terence was telling me my arms are very big already. Is it really that big? I can't judge it. If it is really big enough, I'm going to put a stop to this exercise. It's not my aim to become a gorilla.

Rings

Huh? What rings, I'm talking about, you may ask? Cheese rings!! Duh!! Nah...that's not what I'm refering to. I'm talking about the rings people wear on their fingers. I bought 3 rings recently. I'm crazy over rings as accessories. I may not wear rings often. But I actually have SIX rings at home. But I will not wear 1 special ring that I have. It was a gift I received, and this gift is meant to be a gift to a special one....

Haiz, no $$ already, still willing to spend $$ on these. Crazy.

And that shall sum up my life for the 2 weeks. Don't have a lot of $$ to spend, thus I'm keeping my life to be simple. Nothing spectacular. Nothing happening.

When fate comes, I don't take initiative. When fate don't arrive, I becomes emo....i don't wish to say this, but I really deserve it.

I've been thinking alot about whether I can adapt to my new phase of life after CNY. Keep thinking this, thinking that. I think I haven't study ah, I start killing brain cells loh.

Enough of all these emo-ness...

Song-Of-The-Moment -匿名的好友....

不能握的手从此匿名的朋友
其实我的执着依然执着
却决心和你不再联络
不能握的手却比爱人更长久
当所有如果都没有如果
只有失去的拥有最永久

round up of the last 3 weeks

2010-01-19T00:33:00.002+08:00

It wasn't a happening period of events. For the past 3 weeks, it has been work, work and work, a little bit of jogging and a little bit of chilling out with friends.

Here's what I've done:

01/01/10:

Met up with poly buddies for supper @ Clarke Quay. A nice chatting session to start the year.

08/01/10:

Went with secondary school buddies to JB for shopping and chill. It was meant to be an 'overseas' holiday before I get over to Brisbane for studies. It was a decent trip. I was controlling my budget very tightly, hence I got practically nothing back. Most of the time, I was the one doing the shopping, the 2 of them were just following me. I don't quite like that but they don't quite shop so it was alright. It will be better if bert will be able to join us, but since he's still in army, the idea of him joining us is gone. This marks the start of myself going out of Singapore. Actually, i like the idea of going for a short break. It's nice to get away from the vibrant & fast-paced lifestyle here, to just go away for a break to relax.

09/01/10:

Went for my pre-departure seminar @ AusEd. There were alot of people going for the seminar, some with their parents, some went alone, like myself. It was nice to hear about the assurance from the head agent, who is a graduate from Aussie in New South Wales. He shared his experience and gave us some advice. I met a new friend, who is going to UQ as well, indirectly through ryan.

16/01/10:

I didn't do much on this day. But I got something I've been craving for. I bought a pair of sunglasses!! It wasn't the design I loved the most. It also wasn't the brand I wanted. But it is definitely within my budget. Now, I'm eagerly waiting for the shop to change the lens to my myopia degree and then I can use it. =)

17/01/10:

'Escaped' to Batam with my parents. It was my first time there. The place was better than I thought. I had a few first times over there. 1st time buying home-made kueh lapis. 1st time buying a counterfeit item. 1st time going for massage in massage parlour and the massager is a lady. It was thus a memorable trip. And this marks the end of a frenzy period of overseas trip where i leave Singapore 3 times in 2 months.

When this week ends, it will be less than a month to my studies. How time flies. How I wish time flies over there as well...

With that, it's once again time where I should do some yearly routine., which is to reflect on myself for the past 22+ years. I will reflect on what I've done to make myself proud of myself, make my parents pround of me, or make my friends to be proud to have me as a friend. And once again, the answer is NOTHING. Need to keep improving. Hopefully, this year will be the time where I do something decent. Hopefully, I will be able to do something than to say and do nothing!

Over the last 3 weeks, I keep seeing her. This is more than just coincidence. Deep in my heart, I wanna know her. Yet, I keep letting the chance go. I saw her again today and with me being the coward self, I didn't do anything again..disappointing. Why I'm so shy, or so lacking in confidence, I don't know. Unless I can break this barrier, I know what I can expect of myself few years down the road...

start the ball rolling, 2010!!

2010-01-01T13:45:00.002+08:00

today marks the start of year 2010. Year 2009 was past. As the saying goes, don't dwell on the past. That is what I will do. But before throwing all the events that had happened in 2009, let's have a recap of the key events or decisions made.

February:

It was during this period where I finally came to a decision as to what I want to study/do in the future. Whether my decision to study overseas is right or ambitious. We shall see. Nevertheless, I will try my best to make it a right one. This is one huge decision that I've made in 21 years, it will impact not just myself, but my parents as well. Now, its to look ahead and making the best out of the situation. I hope my goals are goals achievable and they won't deteriorate to dreams.

July:

My ORD month. 2 years has finally past. And this is the time where i no longer need to hold green card and wear no. 3 and face computers whole day long! My time at the unit was much better than I thought. It was not a bad experience to many others' army experience. This is hugely due to the work I do at my unit. It was a slacking one. Which I have no idea why someone can still complain in the unit. We are a fortunate batch, so don't complain! And the ORD week has been a good week to end the 2 years of army. My buddy and I didn't create much problems to the ma'ams & sirs. Hence, the treatment we have was good.

August/September:

I finally faced up to a situation which I have been hiding away. I didn't know where I picked up that bit of courage from, but I'm glad I did the right thing.

October/November:

Went for two 10km runs. One is the Nike Human Race, the other being the New Balance Real Run. Both were great. I'm no runner but I'm no quitter. And in both race, I didn't stop much. Quite pleased with myself, considering it was only until this year where I began to jog.

30th/31st December:

A dinner & movie outing with my 2 closest cliques of friends. I hope I didn't screw things up. Alvin & Chipmunks 2 was not bad. I only planned to have a good laugh at the film and it provided me what I want.

I didn't plan to have a haircut on the last day of the year. It's nothing about superstitions. But I end up having a hairstyle which fit my 3 requirements. And I ended up a satisfied customer. All thanks to the hairstylist Joey.

Went for a jog after the haircut, I wanted to give up & stop halfway thru' the run but I picked up my determination and pushed myself to hang on & finish it.

Year 2010 will be a year about studies. 110% effort will be needed. And to reward myself, the best present shall be a trip to the Universal Studios in Sentosa. Wait for me!! I'll be coming!!

To end this post, happy new year to my friends! The upcoming year shall be a good one and will be a good one. =)

New Year 2010 Resolution

2009-12-28T20:45:00.002+08:00

I'm not a greedy guy. But I think my resolutions are bold and a little greedy. Judge it for yourself.

1) I hope the exchange rates between AU$ and SGD$ keeps dropping.

2) I want to train harder to keep myself more fit physically & visually.

3) I want to achieve good results in university.

I don't think they are really resolutions but more of wishes. Best is all 3 will come true. If something else other than the 3 named wishes come true, I'm more than happy. But I will not be putting too much hope on anything. One thing I definitely need to do for the upcoming year is to put in more effort in everything I do.

Point to ponder: Have I been underestimating myself?

busy & eventful festive weekend

2009-12-28T20:10:00.003+08:00

The way these few days past by, made me realise how time really flies. I thought i had enjoyed more days of holidays and i don't mind more of these activities!!

Here's the breakdown of what I did during the X'mas period.

24/12/09:

Worked half day. Went to vivo for dinner with my poly hao peng you for dinner. Next on the agenda was night out at St. James. It was quite an eye opener. After all, its just my 2nd time to club. I liked the ambience in the room we were in. Just the kind of music to relax & chill. Not to forget, we have a 'freelance' cheongsam dancer. What a performance!

*My first try at hard liquor, didn't turn out bad.*

25/12/09:

This was a more plain day. Just a day out with parents.

26/12/09:

Went over to lil's place to bake a cake for yx. The process was a fun one. That is only possible if you have the right company. Rushed back home to meet huat & kit at kit's house. Kit drove & we soon reached Leisure Park to buy food for the sumptuous dinner in the night. Bert turned out to be on time & we had to make sure we don't spend too much time over at the mall.

Dinner items for the day were roasted chicken, pizzas, log cake, spicy drumlets. Not to forget, we had alcohol as well. We couldn't finish the log cake, we had too much food to finish. Once again, it was a session with the right people & it made the session even better.

27/12/09:

Woke up early to have brunch with parents. Came back home to grab my Xbox controllers before heading out to meet wai n lil at yx's house. We certainly gave her a pleasant surprise with our presense, and certainly the main character for the day- the birthday cake. Next up was lunch at Aston's @ The Cathay. The food was good and that's the only thing that is good. The peeps continue with singing session next. (I wanna sing too!!)

And, I moved on to my next location - big KC's house. It turned out to be I'm the 2nd last to reach. Opps. It was a great FIFA experience even though i lost more games than I won. It was during the bbq session that I got some updates about a friend and the guys' trip to taiwan. It seemed like more unpleasant things occur during the trip, as compared to memorable ones. I was nominated to be the main chef of the day. And I was asked to wear an apron while bbq-ing. It was so embarassing. Hopefully, i didn't bbq raw food. Haha. To finish up all the food, kc's sis suggested to play "Indian Poker". It was fun and we all had laughter along the way.

That's all for the past weekend. It was eventful enough. And I like every single bit that has happened.

And the start of the new work week begins with some monday blues. And it was not the most ideal way to kick off a week. Hoping for the next 2 and half work days to be better.

nothing special..

2009-12-22T18:29:00.004+08:00

Nothing really interesting has been going on since my last post till now. But my weekends has been more interesting now that the guys are having breaks from university. But as usual, its hard to get a friend out on a saturday. Maybe really need to book him early then can be able to get to see him.

Anyway, Avatar was a good movie. I'm not sure if i was really tired or wearing the 3D goggles really made me giddy. I couldn't take the discomfort and I slept for a short while. And I just have to choose the part where it showed the main actor & actress were developing their relationship. Lucky, the show was a 160 mins one and it made my 10 mins nap felt like nothing.

After the show, we were looking around for Wii games. And I saw a game which instantly made me have the idea of owning a Nintendo DS, regardless of which version. And that game is none other than Nintendo's most popular character, Super Mario. I can't really remember the title of the game but the gameplay is said to be exactly like the old-school Mario which was on GameBoy. But its extremely crazy if i were to go for a DS just for a Mario game. Especially since I'm not in the position to spend without thinking.

Weather has been gloomy for the past one week or so. I had to drag my feet to work everyday. And when I jog, the sky can change from clear to having dark clouds. And next, it drizzles. Just as I stopped jogging, the drizzling stops. And I haven't been able to complete 2 laps for quite some time.

My hair is getting long after just 1 month or so. And I can't think of a new hairstyle yet. If the designer can't come out with something nice, I will know what to do to my fringe le. Snap it away!!

I'm totally hooked to this song 唯一的唯一 by 小宇. I think I have listened to this song at least 100 times in 2 days.

Next post....New Year Resolution.

growing spiderweb lo..

2009-12-05T00:15:00.003+08:00

i only realise i haven't been blogged for weeks. Well, the only reason being i'm lazy. Lazy to switch on the computer. Been using my phone to surf facebook & read emails. That's how i stay away from using com. And that's why photos are uploaded late. Haven't been updating myself with new songs either.

been having alot of fun recently. Haven't tried badminton for a long time. So to try it again was nice. And i think i enjoyed the session with 2 close friends even though i'm poor at sports. Talking about sports, i haven't been jogging for weeks. Time to get my lazy legs going. The only form of exercise that I have done recently are just lifting weights & doing the tummy 'wheel' thing.

Going to k-singing session has also become my most frequent activity. Just last week, I've been to sing twice in 3 days. But i will not get sick of it though.

I haven't seen her for quite some time. Who to blame but myself leh? When fate comes and you don't grab hold, it will not come back and wait for you to get it. And so i missed my chance, bringing my self-confidence to a lower level. Haiz...

Last but not least, the issue which has been hovering in my mind for a long time. Studying overseas. As the day gets nearer, my mixed feeling grew stronger. I'm excited, worried and sad. My vocabulary is really poor, can't think of a better word than 'sad'.

Excited 'coz its a whole new experience and a chance to prove myself to......myself. Hah.

Worried 'coz of the exchange rate. This new experience is going to be an expensive one. And with the exchange rate increasing, the pressure on them will increase. I can only try to control the budget as tight as possible, to try to minimise the finance. I don't wanna depend on them at this age. If not for studies, i won't be asking them for $$, i rather they keep it for their own usage. Lastly, i'm starting to feel sad 'coz i don't bear to leave this place and the friends i have here.

Even though, i don't really show it and i can't bring myself to say it. I'll definitely miss the people here. But time to grow is time to grow. So...*i'm lost for words*

Anyway, enough of ranting. I don't know what i've been writing all along. Must have lots of errors throughout the looong post. :p

FATE

2009-11-16T20:10:00.003+08:00

actually i thought of what i wanna post but haven't thought of the title for the post. But on my way home, something happened and the title naturally came to my mind. Haha.

How else can you explain meeting somebody for the 2nd time in 3 days? And i need to mention how it happened today. I was dumbfolded by how it happened today. I was walking back home, listening to my mp3, like any other day. Suddenly, i just thought of her, AND she just appeared! Whoa! This is way too coincidental le. Is this called fate? But anyway, i dunno how to grab hold of fate de so let me just stay happy after all these incidents that happened.

Did i mention i met her on saturday as well? Yeah, we saw each other on saturday as well. It lifted my spirits upon seeing her. I didn't know we live in the same block. So it came as a surprise to me. This has overwrite the 2 good movies that I watched over the weekends. Astroboy & 2012. Astroboy, because it was a 'new' thing to me. I don't quite know the whole story of Astroboy except for who this character was. And 2012, how do i start. It was a long show. 2 hours and 30 mins at least. But, it sure don't feel like such a long show. I never once looked at my watch and it was only after the movie that I know i spent such a long time in the theatre. It showed different sides of people. It tells people to treasure all people among ourselves. Apart from the computer graphics which looks too unrealistic, it was a nice show after a long while.

For the past weeks, weekends has been quite simple except for last sunday. New Balance Real Run in the morning, and an eventful afternoon, evening & night with poly buddies. The run was a disappointment. I was too slow. No excuse should be given though. I just wasn't doing enough. It wasn't easy but I should do better. But wii in the afternoon was followed by a japanese dinner and a partyworld session. It ended as a good day. =)

Cousin's getting married this saturday. My hair's pretty sh*t. I haven't thought of what to wear. And why must you hold it at such a posh place!! The journey of growing up with him, though not very close, till him getting married now made me felt strange. Nervertheless, I'm extremely happy for him and grandma. Her favourite grandson is getting married!

Anyway, i'm totally hooked on these 2 songs. 我爱他" & "你为什么说谎" by 丁当. I dunno how many hundreds of times I've listened to the 2 songs. But i'm not sicked of them at all!

good weekend ahead

2009-10-24T17:19:00.002+08:00

Yesterday was a busy day. Both at work and when having fun. Work was pretty tiring. Simply don't understand why there can be days when so little people come to make pass, for example, less than 50 people came. And all of a sudden, the numbers shoot to close to 200 on another day. Absolutely crazy!

But the activities after work was good. First, it was high-tea with ORD peeps at Ah Yat Abalone Restaurant @ Orchard Central. The baked rice is delicious. The soup is good. Even the milk tea wasn't bad. Then comes the looonngg trip to Woodlands. All because of a certain someone. Haha. We loitered around Causeway Point while waiting for rabbit. And guess what. We saw LTC Victor. LOL. Just ORD-ed still have to see superiors. Next is dinner at Botak Jones. I ate so much till I'm totally bloated. Just to mention, I had MacChicken for lunch. Abalone & Chicken baked rice for high-tea. And Cajun Chicken for dinner. What a chicky day!

The Nike+ Human Race today wasn't good. I didn't complete the run without stopping. And as usual, the moment i stopped, i can't really continue le. Practice wasn't enough. Mentality wasn't strong enough. Need to train more in order to last the whole 10km. But nevertheless, it was an improvement yet a disappointment. Gotta do better in 2 weeks' time. And oh yah, timing wasn't that bad. I think i completed in about 1 hr 20 mins.

Gonna meet the guys again for movie and the ma'ams will be coming as well. Movie then supper for today. Whoa! A very expensive weekend. But absolutely happening.

finally got my lazy fingers to move

2009-10-10T16:23:00.002+08:00

It has been weeks since I last blogged. Basically, there's nothing much to highlight. For the past few weeks, it has been just work, home & jogging. Seldom go out to chill. Suddenly, I start to feel the need to have more friends so that u can find more people to go out with.

I don't want my weekends to be just like what happened last weekend. Left my house at 5 plus and end up getting back home on a Saturday nite at 8pm!! Such a bored weekend. Luckily, this week was much better. Apart from my usual evening jog, I watched movie on tuesday with 2 buddies. And just went for karaoke session yesterday. And as weekend approaches, my insomnia is going away. Finally!! Been having sleepless nites for the past week.

Not to mention, a long lost primary school best friend just added me on facebook. It was a nice primary school memory and the friendship bond built with him was definitely a pleasant one. So looking forward to meeting him after his exams period.

At least, positive changes were made for this week. How can weekends be boring?? Anyway, which should I get? A cool Blackberry Bold or a multi-functions Omnia II? Both OS seems to be upgrading, its going to be a tough choice. Gonna have 2 new gadgets by the end of the year, sooo happy!

an average week..

2009-09-18T16:19:00.002+08:00

Wasn't having the best of mood for this week. And an average week was concluded today with poor control of temper today. I don't understand how some people think but maybe I wasn't doing a good enough job in his opinion. He told me off. I think I showed my emotions and he saw it as well. And after that he ask me not to take it to heart and said he reacted because of his high blood pressure. This really left me clueless. First you tell a person off, and you apologise. I don't mind you telling me off 'coz it gave me a chance to reflect on my customer service skills and improve. But why apologise after that?

Anyway, maybe I should always carry a smile when I work. I think i was just having an expression-less face and it seemed like I gave people the idea that I'm angry. Haiz.

I think I'm going for some retail therapy over the weekend. I'm going to get at least 2 things over the weekend. A tuner for my guitar and a CD. Maybe will be buying more. But lets see how much I can control myself.

I need to spend more time on jogging too. Need to improve to perform well in the Nike+ Human Race. I'm really looking forward to it.

round up of weekend

2009-09-13T18:02:00.002+08:00

The supposedly busy weekend turns out not to be as busy as I expected. Here's the summary of what I did over the past few days.

Thursday - Meet up with the unit guys for Charles' farewell dinner. Its going to be a long while till I see him next time.

Friday - I mixed up the date for my guitar make up class. How nice! Either I wasn't listening to the instructions by my teacher or his english is really that hard to understand. Actually, half of the time i don't understand what he's saying 'coz his english got the indonesian slang. So I end up looking at IT stuffs at Funan alone..

Saturday - Had a 'war' with the tuition boy. Had guitar class. Went to Comex. Celebrated rabbit's birthday. It was an awkward gathering. Just imagine 10 people eating. 4 people are of 1 clique. 6 people are of one clique. Both groups are gathering at a restaurant for a common friend's birthday. And both groups are seeing each other for the first time. There was absolutely minimal contact between us. Just doesn't feel nice.

Something extremely pleasant happened yesterday. But I didn't take the initiative and I lost the chance. What a waste ah!! On the other hand, maybe I read too much into the situation. But it was a nice memory though. Just let me stay in that moment for a while longer. =)

Sunday, today - Supposed to be going out with huat & kit. But kit needs to study for his test again. So, the outing was cancelled.

So, my supposedly busy weekends turned out to be ordinary. But nevertheless, that 1 incident still lingers in my mind. It wasn't that bad after all.

the start to a busy weekend..

2009-09-11T00:17:00.002+08:00

This weekend is going to be a busy weekend. Never had such a long one for such a long time. Today was a farewell dinner meet-up for Charles, who will be leaving for London at the end of the month. There's guitar make-up lessons for friday & sunday. And I'll need to go Comex as well as celebrate rabbit's birthday on saturday. Lastly, it will be an outing with kit & huat on Sunday.

The dinner gathering with the unit guys today was a pretty enjoyable one. Rarely see charles & wei jie for most of the meet-ups. So it was good to see them after a long time. In fact, it was about 8 months since I last saw them when they ORD. It's good to see all of us are either ORD or going to ORD. Hopefully their Day will come soon 'coz the environment is getting bad over there.

Anyway, i'm quite grateful to these friends. Somehow, i think they influenced me to improve in a good way. They're down-to-earth and somehow they are super determined to do what they want. I feel pretty ashamed to be next to them.

Actually...have I changed this past 2 years? I hope I did change for the better. But if I haven't, I better do some serious soul-searching.

Dunno why but emo-ness just struck me....

i just learned a lesson

2009-09-07T22:46:00.004+08:00

The weekend which has just ended has been a smooth-sailing one. A pleasant weekend.

Normally, I will treat my tuition session with my tuitee, a war. 'Coz usually he can end up doing what he wants, refusing to listen to what I've said during the whole session. Usually, by the end of the tuition, I'll be mentally tired and blood is usually boiling at above 100 degrees. But, to my surprise, he was quite obedient as compared to other sessions. What more can I ask for from a 10 year old kid?

Next, I had a enriching guitar lesson. Learnt a few tricks to play guitar chords. Once, I'm getting better with it, I shall learn some Chinese songs to play. And that's all for Saturday.

Sunday was a busy day. Was out with mum to get some daily necessities. Ended up home at 4pm. Went out by 5pm to meet huat, kit & bert for dinner. And it was a good outing for us, i guess. I was pretty happy and it has been a long time since all 4 of us get together. Hmm, I think its close to 2 months? Or even longer..Haha. And its good to hear from kit that he's taking studies better liao. No longer stressing himself too much. But hopefully, he still can get to achieve his Harvard dream. After that I met with wai & yx for a chat.

But all these happy incidents that had happened were eclipsed by one single remark or joke which a friend cracked. It wasn't a joke to begin with, and with that joke a sensitive topic, he asked me whether I'm scared by what he said. Oh, did I mention what topic is that joke about? It was about suicidal, by the way.

Haiz. One friendship issue solved over the weekend, here comes another. How nice...

never ending...

2009-09-05T16:41:00.002+08:00

Problems just never fail to stop coming. Just when I was having a happy time not to think unnecessarily. Problems just has to arise and kill some brain cells of mine.

Two problems accompanied me this past week. I think one of these 2 things that caught my attention is due to my unnecessary pondering. There was once where someone talked to me. That person approached and started the chat. But somehow that person's replies are short. It seems to me that someone wasn't very interested about the chat. But on second thoughts while I'm typing this, i start to think its really over-reacting on my part. Never mind.

The 2nd issue was more problematic. I'm glad this problem is solved this morning. Then again, maybe it looked to be solved on the surface and maybe he is still hurt. Somehow this reminds me of the shingo scenario which happened in poly year 1. Tomorrow's the meet up for the birthday celebration. Whether it will be one where all 4 of us will enjoy, i dunno. I would rather the worst scenario that surface in my mind will not be happening. Its the last day of weekend tomorrow and hopefully it will have a good ending.

Met up with yx and wai on thursday for movie on thursday. The cove is an educational documentary. It showed the cruel acts of killing dolphins and it wasn't until I watched the show that I know of such act happening on such a large scale. Killing 30,000 dolphins every single year! Woah! It hurts to see how these dolphins are killed. Simply can't stand the way these dolphins were killed. But, I slept for part of the show. Wasn't showing the show respect but I couldn't help it! Feel tired even when I have 7 hours of sleep, don't understand why sia. And it was a nice 3 hours of chat after the show. Haven't had such a long one for a long while.

I went to watched The Final Destination 3D yesterday with Ter. I don't like how the gruesome events are showed in the show. How the show made them happened looked so unrealistic. But it was a good 3D film. The best one I've ever watched. Objects looked like they are flying around just right in front of you. So cool yet disturbing because its Final Destination. I didn't know Ter's such a green person. Its good to learn to be green. Save the world!! Somehow, I can find similar points in our lives. Is it due to both of us being Gemini?

Anyway, one particular incident pissed me off when I crossed the roads today. I don't understand why Singaporeans hate to press the button for traffic lights. They like to wait for each other to press and no one pressed at all. And when the turn to cross the road comes, the 'Green Man' didn't light up and you can see the people looks fuming. Who can you blame other than yourself? Press a button so difficult meh? Is this a result of a busy and bustling city? Where people just care about themselves?

Till then. Adios!

a day to learn..

2009-09-02T15:50:00.000+08:00

Learned 2 valuable lessons today at work. Firstly, today is the first time a wheelchair-bound security officer came for the pass making. He was allowed to cut queue and luckily no one was unhappy with the arrangements.

The partition needs to be moved and adjustments need to be done to accomodate him. The man was apologetic as he felt he caused us problems. But i assured him its not his fault. After his card is done, I learned something from him. Down but not Out. Lessons can be learned from his attitude towards life and this is also a lesson to learn how to deal with the less-fortunate ones.

Next. There's a super irritating customer today. The man was totally demanding about having us answering to his questions. And he made it look like he's smart and he's the type of customer that customer service personnels dread to face everday. Luckily, Kelly came to our rescue. I think our dealing with him wasn't up to standard. I tried my best to answer him but maybe I wasn't polite enough. See, my first step of shedding the nice guy image is working well.

This is a lesson learnt to being a good customer service personnel. And now I can fully understand that this is a job which has been overlooked. It's not that a simple job.

the highs...the lows...

2009-09-01T01:36:00.002+08:00

Last week was a pretty eventful week. Monday was movie get-together with 2 buddies. The meal at Ichiban was good but UP was even better. Absolutely a good plot.

And last Wednesday was a happy outing too. Saw Ms Chong while looking around at Ion. So soo So0o happy to be able to see her after about 4/5 years since secondary school days! The 1/2 occasions when i returned back to the hill, i can't get to see her. She spotted me first and looks excited to be seeing me after such a long time. Need to keep in contact with her more often. And 'cher, u looked thinner than last time le. Must take care! So nice of her to still remember me despite me giving her problems in secondary school. And thanks for remembering me as someone nice but i shall shed away this image.

Dinner was pretty good on wednesday. My singing that day was bad but the session was good.

This weekend was purely outings with parents. Hasn't been doing that for quite a long while. It was a great weekend but I should stop driving for some time. Not doing the safety checks and I'm getting reckless. Time to stop myself from being a nuisance to the traffic.

The 'highs' are over. Here comes the 'low'. Arsenal lost an important match despite playing pretty well. But their performance was good enough for my liking. So right now I'm contented after ranting about those poor decisions and errors over the past 2 days.

Anyway, I need lots of m$ney!! Let me list down the items i wished to get.

1. Ipod Touch

2. LG Viewty Smart

3. Sleeveless Vest

4. A pair of shades

5. Laptop

6. Gunners new white jersey

7. Crumpler camera bag

8. Camcorder

I might end up only able to get half of my wishlist. Haha!

Daring..

2009-08-18T00:39:00.002+08:00

I think this week has to be a week filled with daring decisions. Why leh? 'Coz firstly, i decided to go for a shopping spree and spent $100+ on 4 pieces of clothes. And, i've ended up eating words which i've said before. I used to tell myself i'll not buy a piece of pink shirt but after trying the pink polo t-shirt on, I loved that shade of pink now! And so, i bought the shirt.

Shopping has not ended for me, lots of items that i want to get but i can't get all right now. I'm in need of $$. Shades, laptop, handphone, mp4 & earpiece! Urgh! I think the list can just get longer & longer.

And another daring thing i've done, i practically reject opportunities to earn $$. Up till today, i've rejected 3 new tuition cases. 'Coz i'm tired & scared of having another uncooperative kid. 1 is enough, 2 makes a crowd. And, i don't think i'm a good tutor. Need a little cooling period and time to rest.

Anyway, after the shopping spree yesterday, i'm on pretty good mood today. I was happily singing while at work today. A little overboard though! I think retail therapy is good but too much hurts!

李圣杰 - 我可以

如果我可以真的我可以..

纵贯线乐队 - 亡命之徒

出发啦不要问那路在哪
迎风向前是唯一的方法

there's a balance to all things

2009-08-07T23:47:00.001+08:00

For the past 4 days of the week, it has been a pretty good week. After a 'push' to make me pluck up the courage to face a problem which i created out of nothing, i felt happy & relieved. Like some burden is removed off my shoulders. Very happy.

But today, suddenly work is so busy in the morning. So many people just chose to come in the morning to make their pass, and the queue is so long that it is only cleared by 12.30pm & i only managed to find breathing space to buy lunch by then. It has taken longer than usual by 1 hour or so. But the thought of meeting unit friends for basketball & dinner just brighten up my day. It was a good bonding session. Had good laugh while playing. Although I'm bad at ball games, i'm starting to like playing basketball le.

It just has been 2 weeks after I left the unit, but so much has happened after I left. A friend's problem with a particular Mdm just keep getting worse & its now worsen until the head of department gets to know about it. She even interviewed all regulars, and that friend & the 2 friends of the same batch. Can't she just stop picking on him & make it a more relaxed environment to work at. But in the end, she's the one who suffered after she blown up the matter 'coz the 3 of them are going to ORD in 2 months' time & she's still gonna stay and continue to work. So who's at the losing end?

And apart from this forever ongoing problem, i just heard a saddening news about a particular Mdm. Mdm, you must jia you k!! I hope the seriousness of your situation is not as bad as what I've heard. You're such a nice Mdm. So friendly, so cheerful, so easy-going. You just make the whole working environment so relaxed. Although, my interaction with you is not alot because of different job scope, i won't forget your best wishes when i ORD. I was dumbfolded when i heard of this piece of news. Life is fragile & unpredictable.

I decided to walked back after dinner as i wanna save some $$ and i thought the distance from Boon Keng/Bendemeer to my house is not too long, a 15 mins walk should be good enough. But, the stroll back home took me 30 minutes!As i stroll, my mind was just filled with the seriousness of the Mdm's situation, when cm told me about it with that super serious expression, i never sensed its something so drastic. But its not like i can do anything to the situation. Oh well...

A message i received from a friend says i failed as a person. Maybe i do? I dunno. Someone tell me please. Maybe i'm reading too much into messages...Maybe its just a random comment...

When there's nice things happening in a week, there's not so nice things happening as well, life's so fair! =)

its you again...

2009-08-03T21:08:00.002+08:00

Everytime I hear news about YOU, I felt vexed. And after 2 days, I'm still feeling vexed. I heard about YOU being angry about my actions. Why bother to be angry about me? Don't bother, just forget me. I'm not worth having YOU to be angry with. Forget this so-called former 'close friend'.

But, I can't help to hear about YOUR news. Its super contradicting of my actions.

The last-minute post-birthday dinner didn't turn out as I would have like. Kit was unable to come for the dinner due to his commitment with the dance performance in NUS. The mini dinner celebration turns out to be myself & huat having a simple dinner. Throughout this 2 years of army, somehow huat has grown alot mature. Just don't slack too much & I'm sure your grades will be so so much better.

And as next week commence, kit will be back to his old emo self in the poly years. Hopefully his OCD won't be haunting him and he'll be able to mug and get his desired grades. And after next week, huat will be going to NTU, kit will be going to NUS, and I'll be left alone for weekends. Hahaha...

Playing in my head now..Super Junior-Sorry, sorry

weekends..

2009-08-01T15:01:00.000+08:00

Never have i look forward so much to weekends. The reason being I need to be more alert in order to stop those silly errors that I commit day after day at work. And after half a saturday is gone, I'm starting to feel tired le. Teaching a naughty kid is tough. Or maybe I'm just not good enough to be a tutor. Its so hard to keep a 9 year-old kid sit still at a place & be attentive to 1 hr 30 mins of lesson. Maybe I should just quit after 1 month of tutoring him.

Anyway, I just bought the 'Nikon D5000 Digital Field Guide'. Need to explore my camera more so that I will not end up just setting it to auto & use it like a digital camera. In the evening will be meeting up with kit & huat for a mini last-minute birthday celebration for huat. I kind of get used to bert not being able to join us for most activities liao. But he's on duty today, so no choice bah.

And finally, Kolo has left Arsenal, ending his 7 year of loyal & dedicated service. All the best in your City career. And Wenger, if Clichy leaves as well, thats gonna be the end of my support to Arsenal as well!

Tomorrow's Sunday. Hopefully I will have a good day to recharge for the upcoming week.

i trade 2 days of urban lifestyle for sub-urban experience

2009-07-28T00:52:00.002+08:00

Came back from a short 2-day Malacca trip. The weather somehow seems a little better over there. It was a good experience to get to see the city, which is celebrating its 1 year as a historical heritage-protected place. The old, rugged buildings that they have will be kept for long & old as they can be, these structures carry with them history from ancient times till now and its good to be able to catch a glimpse of it.

To sum up, the trip was a pleasant one. I had a good time eating chendol. I had very good time taking pictures of places I toured. Just like the feel of the old, rugged but extremely nice structures. But the lodgings I had over there was not too good. I spent a night where I didn't sleep well. Facilities was pretty average. And the only positive signs of the lodgings was that the building try to create the 'Peranakan' atmosphere by having Peranakan-style objects in the motel-that-call-themselves-hotel.

But instead of turning recharged after a short holiday away from the hectic life of Singapore, I ended up being more tired when I wake up this morning for work. I'm hoping for a better tomorrow but I need my 10am break. My sleeping break is gone!!

ORD-ed!

2009-07-28T00:15:00.002+08:00

Yes! I've finally ORD-ed! I've made it. 2 years. A coster-ride journey. A deserving piece of memories will irked in my heart.

I mean, how to forget this past week?? To put it simply, Alan, my senior-friend-colleague, says my batch has the best ORD treatment. Well, its the BEST treatment that I've seen in the 5 batches of seniors that ORD-ed before me & I'm so fortunate to be part of it. For the past week, my buddy & I had 3 meal treats from the regulars. We also had a treat by fellow poor NSFs on ORD Day. On the last meal treat from the regulars on thursday, the head of department even went down to have lunch with us. This IS her 1st time attending ORD celebration outside the unit with the NSFs. Oh, and she even drove us, along with 2 other ma'ams, there.

Meal treats apart, the regulars came up with gifts for the 2 of us. They got us a wallet & coin pouch. Instead of wrapping up the items, they decided to decorate the box with hearts & good wishes. At the moment when they gave us the presents, had handshakes with us & wish us well for the future. I was extremely touched to the point where....tears welled in my eyes. Kenny was touched by the actions by Mdm Indrani (head of department) when she decided to came along for the lunch. Its a touching move by the most superior personnel.

And last but not least, must thank the NSFs lah. Treated us to sushi on friday. Even got kenny & me a basketball & soccer ball respectively. One word. Touched. See, I so easily get touched, too easy to bribe me liao.

Hmm. And the last thing I wanna say about my series of posts on ORD is I'm so happy that my work for the past 1 year 10 months is appreciated by Mdm Quek (my direct superior). And I'm glad she like the book I got for her. I got it specially for her after I got the idea from a certain chat we had, quite long ago. I hesitated to tell her the reason I got her that book when she was asking me about my plans for future. Well, in the end, I hesitated too long & didn't tell her. So what I heard from KC is that she wanted to get me something back in return. Even if she didn't get me the wallet, a combined gift from all regulars, I'm still very happy. All the suan-ing for the time I worked under her, to get recognition is all I asked for.

To sum up my 1 year 10 months of service in the unit, my first half of the year was a good one. I think my work is of pretty good quality but as ORD draws nearer & nearer, my work starts to deprove. But luckily the starting quality of my work is not too bad, so when my work deprove, it wasn't that obvious. And that's all for army. Unless, reservist is coming any sooner, I won't need to touch this part anymore!

gratitude

2009-07-21T18:26:00.000+08:00

I'm super happy about my superiors' response after they received our token of gratitude from myself & my buddy. They were shocked, excited & happy. Wah, I'm so happy that they like it lah. Anyway, we got them each a book. Each book is chosen with special care to attend to each of their personalities.

The superiors treated us to pizza as well. And we were even asked to signed on the books we got for them. LOL. Make us look like some big star signing for the fans.

And apart from all that I said above, Mr Khoo (a highly experience & respected regular) offered to treat us to lunch. Whether that happens or not, it doesn't matter. The thought counts alot! And the ma'ams wants to get us a gift. We were given 5 choices to choose from. The choices are sweater, a bag, a wallet, a soccer/basketball jersey, a watch. Wah, still can choose a present some more. BUT, we rejected. But we failed as well, the ma'ams insisted on getting us a gift after all.

From the events that happened today, it really made me felt great. I dunno how to explain that feeling. Happy? Excited? I think its a combination of both. I never thought the response will be so overwhelming.

A good end to the 22 months of care & love & memories...

Rational vs perceptual

2009-07-20T18:26:00.003+08:00

my 18 days vacation has finally ended! Well, i didn't my no. of days of leave, off & MCs. A friend did that for me in the office. He even made an update as to when i'll be back.

Its a good break nevertheless. Had enough of rest. Had enough of fun. Even tried clubbing for the 1st time. I was telling kenny about the experience in the office today. Told him about 2 incidents which caught my attention. But his reply was since its my first time, just have a look & don't look too much into things happening.

I had been thinking about this as well. Maybe I did read too much into the events. I think its down to myself being too rational (理性). Its time to be more perceptual (感性) le. But i think i've been too rational for too long. Everytime I tried to be less of it, more of being perceptual. It seemed I need to open up many doors before I can be perceptual. And everytime, it takes a long time for me to open up the doors, hence that side of me never ever surfaced.

Anyway, there's always a first time to trying out anything. And since I've tried clubbing once. I think the floodgate will open. Just like how I was hooked to bowling for a short period of time.

Last nite, somehow I can't seem to sleep well. Too excited to be returning back to unit? Maybe. After all, I've not seen the guys for quite a long while eh. 18 days break eh...

4 more days awaits till I'm out of army. Suddenly, I feel pretty excited about going to ORD. And 2 years has gone just like that. A memories folder named "Army" is just about to be remembered.

Till then, this coming friday awaits..Afternoon will be lunch with kenny, rabbit & yin ki. A mini 6th batch celebration & bday celebration for yin ki. And in the evening will be a dinner gathering with the office guys. =)

Not up to expectations

2009-07-14T00:17:00.002+08:00

I had a jog around the area. I think the distance should be close to 5km. Jogged from Upp Boon Keng to Kallang Bahru, to Boon Keng to Kallang Industrial estate. Jogged twice. Well, somehow hmm came to my mind for no reason. How ah, really so hard for me to put it down meh? Just as I thought I did it. Just as I thought jogging has another meaning to me. Still need time? I don't need lah..I want instant results.

Anyway, tomorrow's the day my 2 wisdom tooth say goodbye to my gum le. I hoped I get a good dentist & not a seemingly quite experienced but average skills one. I want it to be quickly over. The previous experience still leave a deep impression on me lo.

That leaves me with 3-5 days of MC. Well, I hope my MC last till friday can le. I don't want my weekends to be on MC status. I got a to-do list for the coming few days le.

These are things I want/need to do:

1. Finish up my camera's instruction booklet

2. Watch the 蜡笔小新 DVDs

3. Finish Subash Anandan's auto-biography

4. Find songs for myself & yx

a weekend to remember..

2009-07-13T18:08:00.002+08:00

It was a last minute plan to watch fireworks & go for the night festival on saturday. I was happy at the chance to play around with my camera. And to have a weekend meet-up with wai & lil.

We walked up the pedestrian bridge & arrived at Benjamin Sheares Bridge where we took pics while waiting for the fireworks. Time passed. And finally, the fireworks starts. And the sky starts to drizzle. The rain starts to pour as the fireworks scenes gets more spectacular. Several pictures were taken before the chance was gone. People were running down the Bridge, trying to get to the nearest shelter point. After the long wait for fireworks, it was at the last moment where the chance to view the fireworks was gone.

All 3 of us were drenched. With myself looking the most obvious one of all. And after taking shelter till the rain gets lighter, we ran to Millenia Walk. Once again, we got drenched. It was not a nice enocunter, running under a heavy downpour but its an experience to remember.

Next up, we planned to take train to Dhoby Ghaut for the night festival at National Museum. As we walked along City Link to the train station, we saw a long queue forming in front of us, in the direction to the train station. We took a detour & head to Suntec City bus stop. It was the start of our BIG walk. Oh! I saw Bert near Suntec City as well, I guess he was with his dragon-boat friends bah. Should have hit him harder sia, never reply my message for 1 whole day. Good lah!!

We ended up alighting at Bugis area due to a road closure for the night festival. Argh! Hence, we end up walking to National Musuem for the festival. We decided to look around at National Musuem since we need to wait for the concert to start. It ended up being the right choice 'coz the rain came again! And it was an eye-opener, looking around in the musuem. However, we didn't have time to tour the whole building but nevertheless it was great! Anyway, I saw si kai there and that guy ah, juz had to shout "Yo, Pak!!" so loud that all people on the escalator can hear him. I was sooo pai seh lah.

After the museum tour was the concert. I think if I were to be more 'artistic', I would have like the concert more. Last stop was a supper at Rochor Beancurd. AND we walked there as well. That's the end of our BIG walk though.

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Went to orchard alone today to head to Borders. I think its my first serious shopping in it. I needed to look for a guitar book mah. But i didn't end up getting the one, my teacher asked for. I spent like 2 hrs plus in there and during the time, I read some comics on National Service, it was quite hilarious.

Anyway, I'm looking for MJ's You're Not Alone. I heard this song before but it never come across my mind that its by MJ 'coz it doesn't sound like his type of song.

Two quotes I saw from TV Mobile:

1. If you want your dreams to come true, the first thing to do is to wake up.

2. Things are only impossible until they're not.

night out at T3

2009-07-11T01:14:00.002+08:00

a meet up for 2 unit buddies today at t3 for dinner & a send-off for zhehao a.k.a chong (i'm still used to calling him chong since the bmt days) & wei jian. Both of them are off to brisbane for further studies. All the best guys!

Seriously, I dunno how the 3 of us managed to kill time from 7 plus to 10 plus before sending zhehao & wei jian off. Its like the time passed by so naturally that i felt 3 hours is a very short time spent. Anyway, as events unfold, ORD draws closer. It was in bmt that i know chong, even though we were from the same bunk, we weren't close. He's more of section 3.5 while i'm purely in section 3! And it was in unit that i know wei jian, even though we were from the same company (Leopard!!). And it seemed so recent that I had news of them going to aussie and now they're on their way there.

Wei jian was saying about how excited he has been this morning when he head to CMPB for collection of THE pink IC. He was unable to sleep and even woke up early at 6 in the morning. After hearing his experience, I thought about how I will feel when I'm in his shoes in 2 weeks time. But somehow I didn't get excited leh. Maybe I'm already in the ORD mood after being 1 week plus away from the unit & another week of 'holiday' awaits me. Maybe, I don't want to ORD?? Nah! I must be out of my mind if I want to stay on as NSF. Hah! Well, it should be a natural thing when it comes lah, no point thinking about such thing.

I think I'm loving my camera more & more. And I'm taking pictures seriously for fun. Yet another 30/40 plus pics taken at T3 & the train station. Took a few pics after getting the green-light from the control station officer. Phew! He nearly didn't allow me to take pics!

a lazy week's been gone & the lazy bones gets moving

2009-07-10T16:28:00.004+08:00

alritez, the pics of last week's outing is finally up on facebook. I finally decided to stop being lazy & upload the pics.

apparently, got friends bother to read my tiny words in my last post. So, using smaller fonts doesn't works and putting a note doesn't works.

Anyway, i think i should really wake myself up after a near-serious encounter this week. I think it was a tuesday that I was out with mum to bugis. We went to the temple, shopped around there a while and went off to sim lim towers to get a screen protector for my DSLR screen. And on my way to the bus stop from the building, I was happily taking pics of buildings & sceneries out there. Seems like there's nothing wrong right? But, BUT I was doing it at the expense of the traffic conditions. One of my shots were taken while the 'green man' turns 'red'. Erm, I only realised the situation when the lorry starts to move. If not, I'll continue happily taking pics like I'm the king of the road. Hahaha.

Anyway, after shopping at OG that day, made me missed the jacket I saw at Springfield last weekend. Its like Kappa having a sporty jacket at $90+, and Springfield having a better looking one at $90+ as well. I always have the mindset that sporty jacket doesn't worth that much. But anyway, I think the jacket will be waiting for me bah. I hope so. =)

entertainment & shopping galore!!

2009-07-06T18:48:00.006+08:00

Yesterday was a day of filled with entertainment! Was out with poly frens for Ice Age 3, shopping in town & vocal training at ktv!!

Ice Age 3 is basically a movie where u watch, have fun laughing, and don't put too much emphasis on its plot and you'll enjoy it. There are no real main characters in the show but it will leave an impression some way or another. Like the silly squirrel in the show, I've no idea what's the relationship between a squirrel & a nut. But the way, the squirrel goes about chasing after the nut, just catches my attention. Pure determination by the little one.

Next up, after the movie ended, sky was dark and rain poured. However, the shopping mood was not dampened. Nice jackets and jeans were spotted while shopping. However, with my think-too-much character, I ended up conquering none of the items I liked. Well, I just got one item that i 'want'. Now I should just focus on my 'needs'. Maybe I should throw away the theory of 'wants' & 'needs' while shopping. Haha.

And after dinner & a little bit of shopping, we came to the last pit stop, ktv. I think its a pretty good session for all 4 of us. And time flies when it comes to singing. Before you knew it, the time slot has ended and night is calling for all of us. Photos will be available soon.

AND when I reached home, I managed to catch a glimpse of the Wimbledon men's singles finals between A.Roddick & the now 15-times Grand Slam champion R.Federer! Yesh, you're right. Its not a repeat telecast. Its a LIVE one. The match is still on after 4 looonggg hours. This is another great Wimbledon finals after a heck of a finals last year.

Saturday was a great day meeting up with the unit's frens. Great to see jian yong after a long while. But it didn't end up well thanks to myself. That's all for now. =)

__________________________________________________________

*Note: Any passer-by reading this post, you can stop here. =)

This shall be a note to wake myself up. It is after what happened on kc's party that made me think about such things again. Dunno why I feel 'shy' when facing gals. Dunno why I feel 'shy' when facing strangers. Its like I will be tongue-tied when talking to gals. Dun dare to approach them. And when a game was played during the party, I was hoping I was not called up to play the game. Just have the inner fear of facing strangers which I seriously dunno why! I can be quiet with friends, but thats because I dunno what/how to start a topic. But I will feel at ease with them around. But with strangers, I just felt like escaping the situation.

Ok. After a couple of days of thinking why I acted this way. It should be due to my inferior nature. Its hard to explain how my inferior self developed. It is something I dunno how to explain with words. I guess, only people who were/are inferior can understand how I feel. But then, is it inferior or is it cowardness? Or a mix of both? *Takes a deep breath* Hmmph. Dunno. I'm still very blur. I need to get this inferior feeling out. But can I do it? Or it will be with me no matter what, and it can only be curbed? Questions and more questions left unattended. *Takes a deep breath*. URGH!!

Numb........你不是真正的快乐........Breaking The Habit.......

happy. happy. super happy!! =)

2009-06-29T18:18:00.002+08:00

I've finally bought D5000 after aiming so long for it!! Woohoo~! After spending about 2 months of searching for the best deal & after giving it some thoughts about whether I should really be getting it. I've decided. And here I am with my new camera. It's expensive but I think it will be a worthwhile experience. I will bring it to kc's birthday party at his house on this coming saturday. Hopefully, I can be able to take pictures of him and his' potential companion.

With my leave & off planned. I can start to plan on places to go for taking pics. Anyway, I've just got another day of off after my day back at unit on saturday. Peeps from my shift were called back on saturday to shift workstations and equipments for the other shift and it took us half a day to get most of the shifting completed. It was tiring shifting heavy workstations down a winding stairway. And i can't imagine how it will be when shift work ends and the workstations need to be brought back up to the office at 2nd floor when there's going to be lesser NSFs by then. And to rub salt onto wound, there's little number of guys working there as well.

Today is an absolutely silly day. Most slack and most ridiculous day ever! I had dental appointment at National Dental Center regarding my wisdom tooth this morning. But due to my time-sheet stating a timing that is sufficient for me to get back to unit. I need to return to my unit. I switch on my workstation. Update my status with my 2IC. Ask permission for wisdom tooth extraction. And by the time i realised it. Its time for lunch. And because of shift work, after lunch will be home-sweet-home. So basically, i went back to my office, switched on computer. Chit-chat. Went home. ....Dumb. Anyway, i did a silly thing during my short stint at office today lah. Being duty clerk and the most senior NSF along with my buddy, I forgot to report strength with my peers. How nice. Haha.

More to explore my D5000 now. Games are out of my mind le. No time to start dragonica ah! Sian. =((

its less than 1 month now..

2009-06-26T17:12:00.000+08:00

after a few days of MC, the office suddenly seems an unfamiliar environment. Except the people there, of course. They're definitely still the crazy peeps i know.

Juz planned all my remaining days of leave. I've got 6 in total. I need to do my wisdom tooth extraction as well. And I still have my 1 day of GPO as well. The GPO came as a surprise la. I mean my work is decent, with occasional errors commited. So I wasn't expected myself to be given GPO. But, definitely out of the 3 NSFs in my sub-department, I'm not the worst. So maybe that's why I got mine. Anyway, its my 2nd GPO in 2 weeks. Woohoo~! Nothing else is ever better than having GPO from my department. Its the best achievement in work that u can ever get.

And what a good way to end the week off. That is to start shift work. Its because of H1N1 de. To try to minimise the spread mah. And what's so sian today is that my shift needs to be in office today whereas the 2nd shift don't need to be in office today! Coz today is movie outing for the formation's regulars of 3SG & above. So there's OFF for all NSFs. And being in 2nd shift, no need to come office at all lo. But they need to be back in office tomorrow to do some shifting of equiptments. Heng ah! At first the recall was for all NSFs. Lucky now its just for the 2nd shift. If not, life's really unfair!

So after the shift ends today, it was a lunch outing for YK, kenny, rabbit & myself at Tampines SAFRA's Sakura. However, it didn't ended too well for myself. While playing foosball, I was suan by rabbit. And I got rather angry. I think it should be pretty obvious bah. But after I reached home, I recalled the incident. It seemed silly and I was rather angry with myself. But after having a chat with hz, i felt better.

Oh yah! I saw bokai in the bowling alley at SAFRA Tampines while I was about to leave. Its great meeting him after a long time.

And that's the start to the last month of my NS life. I'm coming to terms with parting & is starting to look to the future.

A new gadget that just caught my attention. If only...the price is cheaper...

a dreadful weekend to forget..

2009-06-23T14:25:00.003+08:00

it all started on last thursday. I had sore throat that morning and I was suspecting it to be due to the soya bean drink that I had the previous nite. Coz my throat is sensitive to certain food items which I can't be sure unless I tried that product. For example, I used to be sensitive against chocolate & green tea. I still don't know why I'm no longer sensitive to these food but that's just how it is. And I thought last thursday's case was the same thing, so I didn't cared much.

And, I tried making my precious 3rd day of OFF with having a haircut and getting gifts for the regulars with unit buddy, kenny. The gifts planned didn't turn out to be the ones we got. We planned to get all sorts of different gifts for the regulars but turned out, we got them books with of all kinds of titles, some meaningful ones, some cheeky ones. Haha. Definitely a fun day out at kinokuniya choosing books. Next stop. Taka basement level for lunch. We had german sausages there. And after that, on the way back home, the nightmare starts.

Body was feeling a little cold while at kino, but once again I ignored the hints my body was giving, as was the hint my sore throat gave. Never mind, once I reached home, had dinner, the fever starts to come. And it wasn't a slight one. It was in the 38.5 - 39 degrees range. As it was late, I refused to head to A&E. I went there once, and it wasn't a nice experience. Never mind, I waited for friday where I reported sick and went to polyclinic. I was quarantined with the rest of the flu-like symptoms patients. I was feeling terribly and being quarantined make me felt worse. I was diagnosed to be having flu and was assured by doctor not to worry about the possibility of me having H1N1 or dengue. I had 2 days MC.

But the fever never failed to subside and I went to see a private doctor on sunday again. This time round, I was diagnosed with tonsilitis. Some kind of inflammation around the throat area, and the doctor and I suspected that that was the cause for why my fever can't subside. Another 2 days MC awaits me. And as often, her pills just seem to work for me. I only took the pills twice to feel my body feeling better. Amazing! However, I found out that she gave me a wrong prescription of antibiotics which I'm allergic to. And I only realised after I had a 2nd one. Sian.

Anyway, this fever really cast fear upon me. 'Coz the previous time I had fever, it was dengue. That time i was ill for 8/9 days. Now its better, its 4 days this time round. And also, this time, I felt seriously terrible at my throat. Every mouthful of saliva is painful to swallow. Legs are whobbly. But I'm glad I'm fine and able to blog now. Woohoo~! But on friday, I was certainly touched by my father's actions. He applied half day leave to came back home to check how I was doing. Really touched. But to think he can't have his father's day celebration last sunday. Nvm, this sunday will be a make-up one!

But but because of this fever, I'm not sure I'd missed out on my D5000 deals yet!! I hope not ah! :p

older & wiser?

2009-06-05T20:26:00.002+08:00

lets make it a quick one. this week has been a pleasant week. Managed to gain valuable experience while mending the group's booth at Mindef Pride Day. I get to meet public from all aspects of life. Apart from that, I get to train up on my presentation skills & confidence. Even though, my slot on thursday turned out to be a day of little crowds, I still get to earn some invalubale memories. Like for one instance, there's a little girl about 8-10 years old who wrote a post-on & asked me for a dollar. Shocked to see her doing it, I declined. Next up, I saw her at the food court while having my lunch. This time round, she has a $2 note and a few coins which I believed was achieved after she asked around. Round 3 with her occured a few hours after lunch. She asked me to bend over to her and she asked me a question. "Are you blind?", she asked. My mind went blank and my instant reply to her is "Huh?!" Upon hearing me, she laughed and ran off. DORTZ! What's with her?

Apparently, I'm not the only person to have encounters with her. She disturbed one of the organisers as well as actor Nat Ho, who's there to perform.

Another incident worth remembering is an encounter with this uncle. He caught my attention while he chatted on his phone. 'Coz he's walking around the exhibition and suddenly he stopped and leaned onto my booth and continue to chat until moments later, he left. He returned and I explained to him about my group's project - National Emergency Analysis application (NEA). After reading through the poster, he made some comments about a certain usage for the application. And he suggested the unit to comment to LTA for improvements in which our project can help as well as his opinions on certain issue. He happily supported his stand & all me & my ma'am did was to nod and smiled as he preached. This is exactly just like a role-play scenario during a presentation workshop which I attended! And here I am, with the ideal way to handle. Not giving any negative comments on what a visitor said, just go along with him not to make him angry or unhappy.

To round things off for the day, I saw pei wen at the hub. I looking across the exhibition as I did for so many many times during the exhibition & the moment I saw her, my mind seemed to be sure that its her. However, she did not enter the exhibition, neither did I left my booth to approach her. Dunno why, but I'm quite happy to see her there. And I'm sure she seemed to have seen me there as well as she walked away.

This week is a transition period for me to turn from 21 year old to 22 year old. Thank all for remembering my birthday, and even to people from the unit as well. Really made me feel touched that most people send me their wishes. Even from my ma'am and sir. Definitely one moment to remember and made me think back at the days at the unit after I ORD in the near future.

Seems like my promise for a short post turn out to be a long one again :p

roundup of last weekend & this week

2009-05-30T00:49:00.003+08:00

last saturday's sentosa was a pretty nice outing. Sea breeze, coupled with good weather with no sunlight suits me best. Learnt how to play touch rugby & had a good time out with the unit guys & yi san, a first meet-up with him after he ord.

dragged my mum for company to some "Licensed to Play" fair last sunday. Well, i was hoping for some good offers for D5000! But i was made to feel disappointed as the price & the gifts given weren't any better than that at Harvey Norman's fair.

I went to a presentation workshop for my WITS project on monday. Its a pretty good workshop with a good speaker who prepares herself well. Its a lecture cum role-play workshop. I was asked by my project mates to represent the team for role-play. Maybe i was shy, maybe i was nervous, i felt i didn't do a good job for the role-play. But nevertheless, i was given a morale boost by my unit buddy, kenny. Thanks, dude! Anyway, next up for the project will be a MINDEF Pride Day roadshow @ Toa Payoh Hub next week from 2-4th June. Gotta prepare myself well, n give it my best shot. Even though, its my project, due to the sensitivity of issues in the office, i myself, as a team member is not pretty sure of the whole project, except for playing a part in the write-up of report. To anyone reading this post, support my team at HDB Hub if you're free ya.

The rest of the week turned out to be as typical as what my life has been for the past 1 year 8 months in the office. And, to round up the week, friday definitely has to be a climax to end it. And what better way to end it to draw blood!! Was pricked twice by the medic. I heard his conversation between himself & another medic, where he's saying the needle nearly broke. Phew! lucky he stopped! And drew blood from another hand, if not...the consequences should be worse. Anyway, i don't blame him la, he's afterall medic thanks to NS. So I can't be expecting him to be professional rite. But if it was me, i think i will be worse off bah. Ask me to look at blood drawing, still ok. But to look at the needle pricking into the skin, and drawing blood for patients all the time...that's definitely not going for me.

Relationship can be vulnerable. It can take ages to build up one. And just take minimal effort to blew it.

www.addictinggames.com/theimpossiblequiz.html - try this when bored =)

a pretty good week

2009-05-21T23:05:00.002+08:00

The past week has once again been an easy week. There's a fair amount of work to be completed but nevertheless, as ORD is approaching, the mentality of giving hard work into the job has become weaker. Hence, self-proclaimed break is getting longer even with the possibility of scolding glooming over my head. Well, I did sufficient amount of work, conscience's clear, did produce sufficient quality in job, n that's enough for me.

It definitely helps with the office having several big shots away from the confined space. And they'll be away for about 7 days. Incredible piece of news!

Tomorrow's E-Prep @ Kranji Camp. I can get to fulfil my wish of having to wear no. 4 before i ORD thanks to the minor matters when wearing no. 3. Anyway, its another day away from the office n away from the computer! Hooray! Not to mention, I need to attend a course next monday regarding some presentation skills so once again, I don't need to stay in the office for the whole day.

I just completed reading my 2nd book in my entire life. It's no surprise that its another book by Torey Hayden which I had finished reading. But, after I read it before sleep this tuesday. I had a bad dream after that. I didn't have a dream for quite some time and after such a long time, to think the dream I will have is a bad one. Why can't it be a good & nice one!! Anyway, its funny to have read a psychology-based non-fiction book & have a bad dream bah.

In less than 2 weeks time, I'll be 22. Once again, its the time of the year where I'll ask myself whether I've made myself useful & recall what I've done over the past year.

Have I been doing anything to make my parents/family proud of me? Nope.

Have I been doing anything to make friends/colleagues/mates proud of me? Hmm...don't think so.

Have I made myself proud of myself either? Definitely..not!

Hah! Simply show that its another wasteful year, more to buck up in the coming year! This leaves me with thoughts to ponder on. But before anything is to be done, I should be thinking of wat to give to myself as a gift. Haha!

Anyway, anyway, its Sentosa trip for this saturday. Haven't been to sentosa for too-many-to-count years! With the plan in place, it should be a fun day bah. Hope so bah. Should be a good weekend ahead.

new nickname &...farewell...

2009-05-16T00:41:00.002+08:00

Iceman! That's right! That's my new nickname given to me by friends in the unit. The theme for new nicks are based on superheroes. And I'm given this nick because of my lame jokes which are 'cold'. Telling lame jokes is not something that I should be proud of, but I think Iceman's a pretty cool nick. Ok. Enough of that. Totally random.

Anyway, today the office had a farewell & "All the best" mini-party for Mr Tan. Its actually better for him to be away and searching for a better job. But his leaving is a pretty hasty one. He's supposed to leave the unit 2 weeks from now but apparently he is required to do some stuffs and it ended up that today became the last day for him. Since he's away, i think my buffet treat is gone as well since he's my WITS leader & I think the $$ will be saved for other usage instead of having a feast outside. Somehow his resignation stimulate my brain cells to understand the different mentality that a worker can have. Yet another lesson on office politics learnt. He's someone worthy of looking up to. For this short stint in the unit, he was 'sabo' as my WITS leader, & he did a good job & earned himself an Outstanding Leader Award. How about that! Taking whichever thing that comes your way & give it a best shot. Anyway, all the best to whichever job you hold next time ya. =)

A question that is stuck in my head with a seemingly easy answer just seems so hard for me to get over it. Sometimes I just have the ability to confuse myself that I really end up finding myself to be a stranger.

Is it really so hard for you to make the first move, JJ...

bad weather..

2009-05-08T23:52:00.002+08:00

As I'm writing this post, I'm currently having a pretty bad headache after my swim in the air force school. Swimming's supposed to be the best exercise during a super hot weather like today but I actually ended up worse off after the swim. Anyway, can anyone reading this post tell me the difference between headache & migraine? Does migraine means severe headache?? Anyway, the headache is so bad that it's causing me to lose my sudden crave for donuts. Sian.

This week has been quite a relaxed period for me in the office. It seems I can slack more openly in the office now. Even my work is cutting down. I was told by my ma'am that the current work shall be my last piece of work. Well, I'm really not used to this kind of life lah. I rather I have work that's not urgent than to have nothing to do. Just feel awkward about it but when it happens, lets see how I will approach it.

I've been harbouring this thought that this 2 years of my life is more useless than most NSFs. What I do is not something that NSFs normally do. I learnt nothing else useful except office politics & some useful computer knowledge. When most NSFs are training under hot sun, I'm slacking in some office room. Well, I was hoping for some technician post initially after BMT, but what's good about this vocation is the 8-5pm work hours. To be exact, 8-5.30pm. I get alot of exposure to radiation from computers. And at the end of the day, what I do in there is useless for use in the outside world. Oh well, the only memories that I will have about this 2 years is the people that I've met. I should be lucky enough to find that the people I met are pretty nice. Its a memory that I'll keep with me as I move on.

Shopping.. Gaming.. Eating..

2009-05-02T22:01:00.002+08:00

Catched up with sont after about 3 months since his previous semester break. Not been able to meet him since he's having a busy schedule in NTU. We went for shopping in our usual place, Queensway & had lunch at our usual place at ABC Market. Its a good return for him as he's happy about getting 2 shirts at reasonable price. And I got 1 for myself. I guess guys can't shop for long. We barely shop for 3 hours and we were both feeling tired.

Heard from sont some news about things between me & her. So that was the impression my action gave and that was how she felt.

Was what I did previously wrong? Did I really made a wrong move? Perhaps. Maybe what I did really went overboard. Hmm...

Went to play lan today with huat & kit. Kit's 1st time playing lan. We played at The Cathay and to my surprise, they use Razor mouse & keyboard. That explains why it cost $3 per hour. So expensive!!

I've been eating really alot nowadays. Just can't stop my eating spree. Take for example last thursday & today. Last thursday, this is what I ate for the whole day. Breakfast in the morning, lunch provided by cookhouse followed by 2 pieces of pizza. In the nite, I had dinner before meeting hz for movie where I had fries. And I had 6 pieces of nuggets instead of MacChicken thanks to hz. I think I ate even more today. Chicken rice for brunch. Yes, I'm crazy, such oily food so early in the day. Then I had beef noodles without beef, where I had beefballs, & other parts of cow. And followed by some japanese-bento-looking rice. Lastly, I just had beancurd, youtiao n 2 egg tarts for supper. What big appetite I have recently. Haha!

I went back to PLAB for flu injection today. To my surprise, the medic at the medical centre is not bad wor. I don't quite feel the pain eh. And he's quick. Seems to me he's quite skilled in it. Hopefully Influenza A don't last long. Economy's not doing well this year. And with a virus outbreak so serious, it doesn't make this a good year with less than half a year gone.

reaching the finishing line..

2009-04-27T23:49:00.003+08:00

its less than 3 months to ORD now. Well, to be exact, its actually 87 days. Haha, there's a countdown timer in the office for the NSFs to view their remaining days to ORD. The feeling of separation grew stronger day by day. I always hated this kind of feeling. Its a sad & uncomfortable feeling but people grow, people matures. People moves on & need to look ahead in life. I must say, its quite a same old story for me. The cycle of emotions always works the same for me. From uncertainty in getting into the unit to seeing a buddy being posted out to slowly blending in with people.

I remembered I used to keep counting down to my number of days to ORD when I first got into the office after my training. Its as many as 600 plus days...till it reached a point in time when its too tedious to keep track of these numbers. And now, its down to 2 digits of numbers of days left. I'm not sure if there's enough time to do the things planned before the time is up. Like getting of gifts for regulars. There's 20 plus regulars, so it sure will take a long time to get all the gifts planned. Dental appointment also not booked. Haven't went for one for about a year le.

Anyway, when I reach the finishing line, where I'll be is not decided. The start for a job has not started. The place to study. Not decided as well. So many queries forming up in my head & I need to solve it swiftly & make a good decision to all. We can have a one wrong move but can we afford to have too many wrong moves? Can't.

A quote that caught my attention from yesterday's average Star Awards 2009 - Pornsak says : "Someone once told me, Don't be mediocre."

mediocre. a description which fits myself perfectly. A description which i always am contented with. A description that I should shrug off.

my game's gone..

2009-04-21T23:26:00.002+08:00

wah sian! really sian...i was 'saved' once but when it happened the 2nd time. My game died. This is what actually happened. I start my Football Manager game. It loaded. I select my "Arsenal FC" game. However, an error message pop out! The game shringe into a window screen. Instantly, I felt my game's gone. I tried & tried to restart the game, but it failed. Haiz. Its my 1 & only game of the new FM2009 eh. I played over 3/4 days & several hours in the game. I'm supposed to be in year 2012 in the game eh. My squad's unbeatable. My coaching staffs consist of former great players. Urgh!! My AARRSSSEEEENNNAAALLLL......

A good weekend break ends up with a poor start to the week.

Not to say, tomorrow's my 'favourite' activity in army - IPPT. I think tomorrow's going to rain around 4pm bah. Hmm. IPPT shall be postponed then. Not bad.

feeling a little emo

2009-04-18T01:33:00.002+08:00

been acting emo for the past week, just feeling down for no particular reasons. Hmm..my mind wandered away & had been thinking alot as well. Help! I'm killing my limited numbers of brain cells by thinking about unnecessary stuffs. I just gotta clear all these unnecessary thoughts out of my head. Its pointless. Its in my head. It doesn't make me happy so I should try not to think about these things.

Anyway, 2 good things to share.

One. I met Phyllis on bus on one of the weekdays on bus. I don't normally take that bus home unless I'm going to deposit $$ in Aljunied Central. Wasn't expecting to see an old coursemate on bus as the probability is so low. To know someone you know on a bus which carries not alot of people. A small world eh.

Second. The Gunners got into the Champions League Semi-Final!! Woo~~Hoo~~! Its not always that Arsenal are still in with a shout to challenge for any trophy. So, its really good to see that this time round, they even got a chance to challenge for the Champions League. Nevertheless, they got in through an easier Quarter-Final tie as compared to Chelsea, who had to get past Liverpool - the team that ALWAYS never give up easily. However, Arsenal are growing in confidence & the quality of the football is getting better as they play. Hopefully, they can try to maintain this standard till the season ends. Jia you!

Look at how time can change a person. I used to hate to run or jog. Just used to dislike jogging for it being an individual sports & also because I'm not good in it. :P But now, I think I quite like jogging even though I'm not good at it still. I can feel myself getting fitter with jogging three times a week. Need to get this good hobby go on.

Anyway, I'm just wondering how can I contact a friend who's overseas. Who doesn't come to msn anymore. Who don't use Facebook. Don't log in to Friendster anymore either. How? It just seems he suddenly vanish into thin air. Just hope he's still alright.

a random post

2009-04-09T00:18:00.002+08:00

dunno why but somehow today i just don't seem to be good mood. Not to the extend of unhappy, but just feeling moody. Because of THAT colleague? Because of the stress of job's dateline? Perhaps a combination of both bah. Seriously i don't understand why i'm affected by that particular colleague. I don't understand why what he says can affect my mood. Always can make my blood boils. Urgh! Gonna treat him like a piece of glass and ignore him liao. I find him very 烦,and annoying. Ok. Enough of him. Not going to make him take up so much space on my post.

Work just seem to pile up all of a sudden and to make things worse, there's this job which I need to do and the deadline is thursday a.k.a tomorrow. And I haven't even started that assignment yet. DEFINITELY can't make the dateline because I was told of the dateline really late, like 2 days to complete that assignment with other jobs on hand to complete. Haiz. Well, if the work is really that urgent, given my character, OT will be necessary then. I nearly wanted to stay back for OT to complete my current jobs, so as to start on the Mission Impossible. It never helps to have a colleague who has alot of jobs on hand as well & another one who's always on the lookout for easier tasks to do. Being Mr. Anything, I never refuse any tasks issued. Just try my best to complete the task well.

Came home to do a bit of toy modelling & watching my favourite "超级星光大道" series.I'm currently watching series 4. Wasn't having a good impression on the contestants for the series. Had a misconception that they weren't as tough mentally as the previous batches, and their singing are not as good as their seniors. But I was proven wrong!! The next round of competition that I'm going to watch show them having to face the comments(some of these comments are really hurtful) that people post on the show's forum. I'm not sure they hear it after they sang their song for that round or before they sing. Because if they hear it before they sing, it will be a test of their mental strength to finish their song and sing it well. Of all the series I've watched, the way the contestants improve during the competition really impresses me. I think I'm too crazy over the show le. Alrights. That's all for my ranting.

feeling super happy now!

2009-04-02T18:58:00.003+08:00

was checking my mail just now and I've received another confirmation email from the agent in AusEd regarding my university applications. This time round, its good news!! I'm being offered a place for RMIT University le! And with a 1 year exemptions some more! Well, after receiving a rejection letter last week, I'm getting paranoid over my future. Wasn't having the best of mood this week, but after the most recent email, my mood has been lifted. At least, I can see a door about to open, and whether the door lead me into a brightly lit room or a dark, cold room, its up to me!

Right now, its just about when I will receive the reply from the other 2 universities. Hopefully I receive a good reply from Curtin, budget wise and course wise, i'm slightly more in favour of Curtin. Hmm, we'll see...

how many masks do u wear?

2009-04-02T00:28:00.002+08:00

I had a nice chat with kim poh & yin ki during tea-break this morning. It was a nice chat and a nice stroll as well! We walked around the unit at least 7/8 times while we had our chat. Haha! That actually adds up to around 3.2km of walking. Quite a good form of exercise. Perhaps we should do it more often for guys like us. Always facing coms daily, having unhealthy radiation emitted from the monitor, and having to sit and facing the square monitor for 8 hours.

The first paragraph does not seem to show any link to my title of the post. Here it comes. We were chatting about our respective experience in our departments and we had some complaints over several guys. And a chat on this particular guy triggered my initative to write it here. That particular guy blew up once and suddenly just slapped another guy, causing all of the onlookers (including myself) to be in a shock. It really happened out of nowhere. Alright. After the incident, he did apologised to the guy he slapped. The peers of the guy being slapped is totally angry about him. But apparently, he was not sincere with his actions. As, he did it so that it looks nice to show he's apologetic about his actions. So, why apologise if there's insincerity about it. Why apologise just to show that u are sorry about ur actions when u're not. And anyway, the apologize was not accepted by the peers of the guy being slapped. Apart from the incident, a conclusion can be deduced that he's afraid of the mighty (which is why he apologised for the incident i mentioned) and he will 'bully' or, put it in another way, show his authority to those he felt is weaker than him. Well, this showed he wears masks.

Masks. Something that people wear to show the 'self' that one want to show to certain group of people. Mostly worn by backstabbers. Nowadays, getting more common. LOL. The above description is totally something I thought of de. Its something I believe though. Its something which makes life torturing yet interesting. Office politics opens up the mask-eteers are everywhere. These people create rumours. Creates unwanted trouble, yet are creators of topics to be gossip. Hmm, cool. Personally, why not just be less complex. Makes things simpler. Why wear a mask to show one is being nice at a person, and back-stab another behind his/her back. Reason(s)? To sabotage a person, to create better opportunity to gain promotion?? Does it makes one happy that way? Maybe. Does the happiness last long? Well, only the mask-eteers know. Personally, I think it is a kind of superficial happiness. But then again, there's a need to have 'bad' people to show how nice the nice people are, right?

It's tiring to be superficial to make the working environment nice. If only there's just one side of everybody and not wear a mask. But its difficult in this environment, huh. Anyway, enough of the grumblings.

Happy April's Fools Day! Happy birthday to my dad. But he won't read this though. Haha.

1 down 3 to go...

2009-03-27T19:48:00.002+08:00

was checking my email just now and I actually received a reply from AusEd with regards to my applications. My application to get into Deakin is rejected...I was pretty down after reading the letter but nevertheless I'll stay positive and hopeful that the other 3 applications will be going well. I'm starting to limit myself down to 2 choices though, namely RMIT & Curtin. I did applied for uni of Queensland but after lil told me about their course not really recognised locally, hence I'm not really interested if its the only one that accept me out of the 3 remaining applications.

Haiz. The regret of getting poor results in the 1st & 2nd year is getting stronger. Feeling more remorseful about it. A late push in the 3rd year still prove useless if all my applications are rejected. Hmm, I need to take some time to look at the other available options I have.

Well, I can only have myself to blame isn't it...

This week's been a good week le, so as my life always has been, something unpleasant must happen as well to 'balance' it out right..haha

totally random post

2009-03-27T18:33:00.003+08:00

i dunno what has gotten into me but somehow i felt like typing something whenever i log on to internet. Haha.

I was juz scanning through all my posts, just realise I typed alot for all my posts. I think if I were to have a better command of english, my posts should be shorter. Hmm.

Nothing much to blog about today actually. Its just a sudden urge to type something. Haha!

had a great day today!

2009-03-27T00:40:00.002+08:00

this week has been a pretty good week so far. I enjoyed today very much. I was informed yesterday that I'll be having lunch outside with my WITS team. This meant 2 good news for me. Good news 1- No cookhouse food for me today=) This week's lunch is really pretty awful!! I'm never someone who doesn't like to finish his food. But ARGH! really can't stand the food.

Good news 2- Today's dine-out is using the $$ we won through WITS awards. The lunch is a meal at a hotel. AND no need to start work straight after lunch!! Whee!!

Anyway, really had a lot of food during today's buffet. Who ask me to be big mouth and say I always don't like to waste food. So, I really ate all that I can. Haha. Felt really full after the meal though. I felt quite bloated. But perhaps because of my good mood today, my food was all digested by 3 hours. And I felt like eating again. Not forgeting the guys in the office for tempting me with hot & spicy chips while I'm still feeling bloated. Thanks ah!

Received bert's message enquiring about meeting tonight. He planned to watch FanBoy. But eventually the plan was changed to eating zi char at a coffeeshop near my house. The food's really nice though. Love this dish called Coffee Pork Ribs. Yummy! Eventually, we met up in the end with kit as well. Had zi char. And went for a movie at Leisure Park after that. We watched The Unborn. It is a PG-rated film which I think should be rated as NC-16 for some scenes in the show. By the way, it's my 1st horror film at the cinema with the guys. We bought the tickets for the movie at 8.30pm when the show starts at 8.05pm. Missed quite a bit of the show, but its still a relatively nice show though. Got a few disturbing scenes. Never watch horror films with them 'coz huat don't quite like it but anyway, I learnt something today! Bert's quite scared with horror film 'coz he was grabbing kit's hand real hard!! But its funny lah. It's that kind of wanna see the disturbing scene yet got that bit of fear loh. Quite cute lah. Haha =) On the way out of Leisure Park, I saw this gal from my course. Dunno her name. Just know that she's from azuan's class.

To people reading my blog, try searching for this video call 'Hotel 626' on youtube. Its an online game and its video is quite..erm...____ *fill in the space by watching it lo* =P

*don't watch it with the speakers on if u think u're not really a 'brave' person. I was watching it as i type this post. At this late hour, I got a slight shock.

I think i saw HER today after the 3 of us went to get concession at train station. Saw a really familiar back-view as we approach the traffic lights. She rushed to cross the road. We didn't. Part of me wanted to rush to cross as well, but part of me says don't. I told the guys after that. They were saying i think too much. Really? Perhaps. As we approach the bus terminal, I was searching if she was around. But, she wasn't. Maybe its just someone that look like her?! I thought i forgot about her? Or didn't I? Hmm...

soon-to-be hobby =)

2009-03-24T23:48:00.005+08:00

like the title suggest..I'm interested in picking up a new hobby! It's about keeping a pet at home. Dogs?? Nope. Cats?! Nah. Hamsters?!?!? Not either. Aiya, its fishes.

Last Saturday, after having nasi lemak at katong with my parents, I passed by an aquarium shop. My parents & I went in to take a look. I've always like marine fishes, but didn't rear them because of the implications of having them. You see. The salt content of the salt water that the fishes stay in, must be of right proportion. There's other factors to take care of as well. Like nitrogen and the cleanliness of the tank. But today I was having the aqua-fanatic Alan about this topic. And there's another issue to take care of. Marine fishes need air-con to survive, as they require low temperature to live. That chiller/air-con will cost a bomb. But, I really like marine fishes, fishes like clown fish a.k.a nemo looks real nice under neon lights. It's as if their bodies can glow. Really very nice. However, as my understanding of myself with my own short attention span on interest/hobby, I doubt this sudden burst of interest will last. But I'm trying to change. Really! Starting with..my interest on guitar. Hopefully it will last really long.

Anyway, I saw a rainbow after having my nasi lemak!! Wanted to take a shot of it with my dad's N95 BUT I forgot how to use a camera phone. Oh no!! I tried and tried until the rainbow decided enough's enough! It decided to fade away before i took a decent shot of it =((

*Clap hands clap hands* Its less than 4 months to my ORD le. Yay!! That means I DUN HAVE to face HIM after that. Hmm, HIM is a junior of mine. I dun like the way he brags about his 'knowledge'. I mean, don't make urself sounds so knowledgeable when u don't leh..he's always talking about how good he's with his programming knowledge. Like to say boastful stuffs and like to be a Lao Da (big brother). But then again, perhaps its just his case of insecurity or lack of self-confidence which is why he's using this way to 'protect' himself?? Maybe...I guess I gotta be more forgiving, and have more tolerance, which I don't have. Ok, I must try to accept others for what they are. Yes, I can!

And lastly, one thing that made my day! My dad went home after work, telling me that he was worried that he had lost the coin pouch that I got for his birthday this year. Luckily, he just left it in the car. It didn't dropped on the road or elsewhere. Whoa! It came as a shock to me! Firstly, relationship between him and myself aren't that good. I'm closer to my mum. Secondly, he seldom talk more about his feelings to us de. He's a da nan ren. A male chauvernistic (i think i spelt wrongly). But nevertheless, he's a good dad. Anyway, I was touched and really happy with his 'anxiety' over the misplacement of the pouch. I always feel really glad and assured that I got a present for family or friends as long as they like it. My insecurity will be out haunting me, making me think alot of unnecessary stuffs and thus as long the result i get from people is positive. I'll be really happy.

Dunno wat I've been typing oso..should've change the title to juz random post instead..LOL

happiest day of the week =)

2009-03-21T02:54:00.002+08:00

I'm NOT going to do operation on my arm le! YEAH!

YES! I'm absolutely overjoyed with the fact that I can cancel away the operation appointment for some correction surgery to my right arm. Well, after a long thought of considering to do the operation or not, and on Tuesday, I gave an answer to my specialist doctor on my decision to my right arm. The answer is YES. 'Coz he said after seeing him for 10+ years regarding my old injury which occured in primary school, its reached a time where I'm to decide whether to leave my arm as it is (which is, being able to bend to 90 degrees, no more no less), or to have an operation to try to correct the situation.

However, what really caused me to ponder alot on my arm's situation is down to 4 reasons. 1 reason being, I go for the operation. Have a scar on my right arm (don't like my arm to have a scar, 'coz I dunno how big the scar can be, a very big scar looks ugly). Secondly, the doctor can't give me an answer to how much the operation can help in correcting my arm (improve a little bit, alot, he just can't promise me anything, doesn't have any definite answer, makes me unsure of the help I gain from the surgery). 2nd way to the situation will be, to go for the operation at a subsidised rate (operation cost to be covered fully) and be daring and just give it a go! So, it's up to me to decide which reason matters the most to me.

But after agreeing to the operation, I thought about the operation and I'm just getting more uncertain about my decision as I go through the admin procedures required for the surgery and it got worst as soon as I saw the budget. It cost $7000+. It's too much to bear with the result of the surgery uncertain. Alot of 'what ifs' flew past my mind. Felt quite emo after the appointment. I need to double-check with unit's admin clerk whether the cost will be covered and whether my branch head allow me to go for the operation.

So this afternoon, I went to check with the admin clerk, and her reply is because I'm a private patient, I will have to bear for the surgery cost. I'm not keen on having to pay for the operation because of uncertain result. And after knowing that I have to pay for the surgery if I were to go, made me more determined not to go for the surgery. After all, I can choose to correct my arm next time if I want, through referral from polyclinic rather than through my current doctor who charges me as private patient where it will cost a bomb. Anyway, this piece of news help me in making my decision. And so, I'm happy!

Had a good cycling exercise in gym during Games Day and went with the unit guys to the Adidas sale & Popular sale at the expo. Whoa! The Adidas sale is really quite an eye opener. We need to queue up in order to get into the hall. And the stuffs that were left when we went in were little. Its only the 1st day of the sale btw! It's either we're really slow, or that there wasn't alot of items on sale. But anyway, to be able to clear up most of their goods on the 1st day of supposedly 3 days sale is good news isn't it.

I bought 2 models made of wooden plank at the Popular sale. 1 of which is Eiffel Tower. The other one comprises 1 guitar and a grand piano. I think I'm going to try paint it to make it lively as compared to the dull light-beige tone of the model. The display cabinet is going to be flooded when I really fix all the models I have on hand le. Gonna stop myself from buying any more models le. I've got no place in my room for another cabinet!!

That's it for this week where it marks a mixture of good news for myself and a bad week for some guys in the unit. Hoping for next week to be a better one! =)

an interesting topic

2009-03-13T01:34:00.002+08:00

I heard this interesting topic discussed on radio this morning while working in the office. The DJs were throwing this topic on "whether guys or gals are easier to understand" to the listeners.

As the listeners poured in with their own opinions, both genders supported their own gender by saying they face more difficulties in understanding the other gender. And the evidence given for the shortcomings of both genders seems to me like its down to one general reason. For the guys, the gals listeners gave reason saying the guys don't like to express their true feelings, most of the topics are more to do with interests, hobbies, entertainment, news, etc. And for the gals, its more to do with saying one thing but meant another thing.

Well, for the part said on guys, I can say that is the case for me. I don't quite show my true feelings all the time. Somehow, I'll hide it by saying lame things, keeping quiet. Why do I chose to hide in my own 'shell'. I don't know. Actually its not just that I don't really wanna say. It's more like the words sometimes come to my mind, but when I speak, I think twice, or thrice and decided not to say. Just don't have enough self-confidence in myself, don't quite know how to express.

Anyway, what made me felt like blogging about a radio chat topic is because it brought me to think of her AGAIN..I thought I had put it behind me but somehow I didn't. Maybe I didn't approach this situation well enough. I mean, the sudden change of being good friends(not sure if its wishful thinking on my part, haha) to not contacting at all. Funny. How that incident can bring a change to our life, or rather just mine, haha!

At least, I learnt something out of the situation. To treasure friends even more. Just that I must learn to show that I treasure, because I can just kept it in my heart and looks 'cold', haha. Oh well, move on!

Anyway, enough of ranting le. Yet another long post. Hopefully no one will read this post. =)

nearly got trapped in the lift....AGAIN!!!

2009-02-27T18:23:00.002+08:00

i mean...how 'LUCKY' can I ever get! I actually got trapped in the lift for a short while after returning from my army unit. What happened is this. I went into the lift. So, I pressed my floor level and close the door. The door opened and I thought someone wanted to enter, but to my dismay, there was no one. So I closed the door again. The next few seconds which followed, really freak me out!!

The lift didn't even travel to the 2nd floor. Just when the lift starts elevating, I can feel the lift come to a sudden stop. It stayed at the spot for a few seconds. Then, the lift went down to the ground floor and open its door. PHEW!! What an escape! It could well be my 3rd time being trapped in lift. My 1st time at my new block. =)

*damn! i guess i'm fated to be trapped in lift lah, trap me!!*

For the past 2 weeks, I've been having the best time in my army life due to my superiors going overseas for course. I can be able to do work at relaxed pace and be spared of their nagging. But my mood was dampened by one regular. Haiz. *Not nice to discuss what she complained about me but nevertheless, it made me emo for that day*. But life's back to normal. Normal working day. Normal tiff with someone whom I don't quite like.

Anyway, I really need to buck up on my fitness. If not, I'll really be having a real bad time when April comes when I need to do my IPPT. Hopefully jogging thrice a week will help. Jia you!!

Chinese New Year's over!!

2009-01-29T00:25:00.003+08:00

happy new year!! See how time flies, its already the 3rd day of the new niu (cow) year. Why is it time flies when I'm outside the office whereas in office, time seems to crawl....Crawling in my skin!!! *starts to sing Linkin Park's crawling*. Getting high nowadays for no reason and getting more daring nowadays.

Cause today I just did a crazy thing in office where I get myself into a minor problem for being careless. Was caught by my HEAD for reading newspaper as she walk past me. DAMN! She was smiling at me as she walk past. I'm sure its not because she's happy. It's a smile which brings eerie feeling to me. It sounds like a small issue, but reading newspaper and getting caught by her is never a SMALL issue anymore. Not like its my 1st time getting caught, I was complained once for not greeting her when I was with my batch mate. Once again, I walked on a thin line again. Hope nothing happens to me tomorrow and this incident should be over.

Anyway, now to happy events. I'm really very happy over this festive period eh. I'm very happy with my stuffs that I bought for Chinese New Year. I think I spent a bomb for the stuffs that I got.

Here's the breakdown of what I bought.

- 1 polo T-shirt bought using Robinsons' voucher.

- 2 shirts bought from Giordano that's about $50 and a pair of jeans worth $40 odd.

- 1 informal blazer which I bought during the mid of last year which is $69.

- 1 pair of sneakers which is bought at 50% discount and cost me just $44.50 and its my favourite colour mixture of white & red!! Really hyped over this new pair of shoes!!

- Last but not least, my most expensive item that I got this year!! A new pair of spectacles which cost $240!! Expensive but its a really nice one. This is one style of specs that I was looking at for a long long time before I decided to go for it! I think its the best looking spectacles to be able to fit my big face loh.

During this Lou Hei (the traditional local dish for CNY where raw fish is mixed with assorted vegetables), I was supposed to be saying auspicious phrases for myself & my family but instead, I was saying ORD oh!! I'm crazily anticipating the arrival of my ord date which is still about 6 months away.

Anyway, apart from the clothes and Lou Hei part, I was excited over the chance to be able to drive for the 2 days of CNY. That means more driving experience which I'm super glad to have. I have always love to drive and I find it so relaxing and enjoyable to be able to drive. I was delighted when huat asked me to drive him back from Changi Airport when he's back from his training stint in New Zealand. But whether I can use the car depends on the father.

However, the end of my most happy and enjoyable CNY is coming to an end. The amount of red packets $$ no longer matter that much to me. It's the happy feeling that counts. If only I have a special someone to share my joy with me..

hello 2009!!

2009-01-03T01:39:00.003+08:00

Definitely a good start to the new year 2009! I'm given 1 day off by my madam on the last day of 2008. Celebrations took place and a summary of events in 2008 was concluded by officers and nsfs representing various units of the formation. A nice meal was served but the food served reminds me of christmas celebration rather than a celebration for the upcoming year.

Anyway, I was really delighted with the 1 day off for today. Its like 2nd Jan is supposed to be a start of a new working year but its not the case for me! I just felt uber happy that I kick-start the new year with a nice break away from work. With it, I shall make sure I give my best in my work for 2009 so that my testimonial will look nicer and make myself satisfied with my work. Anyway, a long weekend means that it will seem like I'm away from office for about 3 weeks! Woohoo~! Alright alright. Enough of that.

Events that happened on dec 31 this year certainly isn't as great as last year but what happened on the first few minutes on 1st jan definitely makes the whole day great! Several bad events happened and it really wasn't a well-planned round-up for the year.

Things that happened were I was late (bad habit that I've cultivated last year, really need to STOP doing it), my specs' plastic outer layer cracked (sian..i wanted a new pair but i wasn't wishing for this current pair to 'retire' in this manner), luckily it still can be used, so it ain't that bad. Then came the search for a restaurant to eat. I planned to eat at Seoul Garden (coz I haven't ate there before!) and I think a steamboat kind of meal fits the occasion. It's been around for a long time but I just didn't went to try out before, its just like my experience with bowling. I never tried bowling until last year, haha! Side-track again...anyway, back to the food encounter. Kit, huat & me were looking around the whole Marina Square for Seoul Garden but somehow we just missed out on it. And by the time we find it, it was 8 plus, stomach were starting to growl but we were told we need to wait for 45 mins for our turn to eat. So we decided not to eat it and settled for some myanmar restaurant.

The meal went smoothly UNTIL i didn't get to eat my dessert! Its some myanmar chendol. It was sold out! Haiz..why wasn't the last bowl saved for me?? Why?!?! Next, we went to play some arcade games to kill time before the fireworks starts. Kit met his cousin and fren and left with them after that thus it ended up with just me and huat to watch the fireworks together. The fireworks this year really is nice. It's hard to really describe how nice is nice until you've seen it.

Let's have a look at year 2008 for me. It's a rather average year once again. My life's never been real exciting so it's just a normal year that had just gone by. Everyday is just about army(mine's just office work, and I've been doing that kind of job where I dun like but I've just got to do the work for the past 1 plus year) and weekends are for meeting up with frens. This year see myself going through an "emo" period for a while. This time, I managed to move out from it way much better than last time I experienced a similar one. Really glad I managed to do it and whether I do it right, I don't know but it was the solution which I chose back then and I've moved on from it.

The positives that I can take from this year is that I've made a few good friends from tekong days and I've "opened up", I think. Met 2 friends in BMT days, namely hz and terence. Didn't really have alot of time to meet up with terence because of his army duty but on most fridays, i'll be meeting hz for a meal and a short chat and many times during our meet up, we'll end up walking from bugis/city hall to plaza sing for no reason. And I meant I've opened up, because used to be too quiet, too introvert, lack of self-confidence and unwilling to display my real feelings, been always trying to cover up myself and be a nice guy. This year, I've changed. I've really tried to interact more, try to have more self-confidence and be more 'real'. I know that the change in me might not be obvious but I'm trying to improve to be a better son, friend, colleague and worker.

What made me most satisfied this year about myself is that I'm no longer someone where I can be 'bullied'. I can be nice, accomodative (not sure if its a right word to use), and easy-going (just like how I can agreed to trying out line-dancing and singing x'mas carols). To put it simply, I'm no longer a pushover. I'll fight for my own rights till the end!!

Next monday's the start of working year 2009. Let's hope for the best!

end of block leave, end of x'mas, end of 2008...soon

2008-12-31T00:12:00.002+08:00

Dec 2008 is finally coming to an end. It's been a rather eventful past 2 weeks where I had block leave, went to zinc's bdae party, had a 'peaceful' x'mas.

My block leave period was during the x'mas week where I used 3 days of leave in exchange of 4.5 days out of office (because of x'mas celebration and x'mas day).

Talking about x'mas celebration in the office, I had a great time during the celebration on the eve of x'mas! Guess what! The guys at my branch went carolling around the whole unit. It's fun lah! Going around the unit, from branch to branch, then singing christmas carols as a whole. Well, I must say we're not really good at singing, I'm not good either, but we really tried our best to make the carols sound nice. And I think it was quite a success. So, to round the carolling session up, we went over to the mess where other unit's personnels are holding their mini-christmas party AND we sang them carols as well. It was really fun and memorable as it was my first try at singing carols.

Went over to zinc's birthday party a couple of saturdays back. Met up with several of the poly mates. Felt really happy after a long while of not seeing each other and I realised everybody has grown matured. From there, I learnt that azuan's actually in bert's BMT company as a storeman. What a small world!

Watched a few movies recently also. Basically, those more popular ones like Bolt (both the 2D and 3D versions), Ip Man, Yes Man and The Journey to the Centre of the Earth (3D). And also, Body of Lies and The Duchess. Hmm, actually, I watched the Journey...Earth (lazy to type the whole title lah, damn long!!) twice including the 3D version. I watched it again because firstly, I forgot that I watched the movie.Opps!! And secondly, it was x'mas eve, no plan for that day, so I decided to watch it with kit who was rather pissed with something that happened to him last night as a form of compensation. The 5 other movies were pretty good as well and my favourite 2 movies of the 5 are Ip Man and Yes Man. Ip Man's a nice action film with some light humour. And Yes Man's a movie that's quite a no-brainer, and it should be a film where u get to the theatre, have some snacks and laugh your ass off the lame and not-lame jokes from the movie. Not forgetting that it also promotes a good information which is to say YES in life. As in, to approach life positively.

Last but not least, I went out with wai, lil and zinc on sunday to have a nice meal and some bowling and played arcade as well at marina square. 2nd time having meal at pasta de waraku, its nice, but somehow i wasn't in a good appetite to eat alot. Could be because I had alot of snacks while watching The Duchess. And the bowling session after that was quite screwed up. No thanks to the machines that the bowling alley is using. Nevertheless, I had my best score EVER in bowling. Felt so good! But I guess its just Lady Luck's riding on me bah. Went to tried this particular game, which is something like a Street Fighters' tetris. Never played before, but it was nice. And I played one of my favourite game, Virtua Tennis. It's always so mental draining to play it, but I still can't clear the tournament stage again.

Tomorrow's the last day of year 2008. Time flies. Here goes another year, and army's 60-70% for me le. This coming Jan 2009 sees my seniors ORD and the next batch will be mine!! HAHA!! Finally the time has come, and it's one which I will be greeting with mixed emotions.

Anyway, tomorrow will be a day to be made memorable BUT I've got no idea what to do yet. Shall let the events just flow bah.

been abt a fortnight since i last blogged

2008-12-16T00:06:00.003+08:00

yeah, its been quite a while since i last blogged. Since the week where I have my unexpected period of MC. Since I'm now called a chao keng kia. Quite hurt abt that new nick though. Wanted to be one but was never one and I'm sure I've did enough to showed I'm not one but gossips are always bad. And this is just one of many bad gossips. Well, I'm going to pay less attention on all these shit and I'll be FREE after 7 more months! Urgh!

Wanted to blog last week but due to my laziness and my indulgence in this new mmorpg called Dekaron and FM09, expected!, I didn't blogged until today!!

I remembered I had a short chat with bokai on msn 2 weeks back. It has been a really long while since I chatted with this poly fren of mine, haven't seen him since the end of poly, haha! We were talking about the future. Life after army. And he was saying about he wants to study and that he don't really see a future for himself at the moment. How true! Exactly what I was thinking about also. At the moment, I really don't know where my future lies. With ORD quite soon to be approaching, I haven't quite have a view of what my future will certainly be. I don't want to be job-hopping after ORD. I don't want to move on aimlessly again. Enough of that for me. Seriously need to look out for options out there and draw out what possibilities I can have. The financial crisis certainly didn't help.

2 years of army is a LONG time and if after this 2 years, I'm still unsure of what I want to do in the years ahead. It will make the 2 years all the more useless. What I should be glad shall be that I still have 7 months to think through. Actually, I do know what I want to do after army. Its how I want to go doing it that's bothering me. Been planning to do studying. Because I'm very sure if I start working and not study after army, possibility of me going back to studies after a short period of working life is as good as 0. Hmm, shall take it a step at a time. *Haha, I think my sloppy attitude still hasn't change.*

The love-hate situation for me about my unit is just like a roller-coaster ride. Everytime the 'love' feeling comes, the hate feeling is just around the corner. At this present moment, its the hate feeling that I'm having. Which means the love feeling is coming soon! Things are not really nice at the moment, work's piling up, and I get to see different natures of people. One moment, he can seem really nice, the next moment, he can f*** you for no reason.

I've got so many things that I want to buy! Let's name it. A laptop with better specs so I can play more games. A mini hi-fi set so I can enjoy music in my room. A new pair of specs because my current one has been with me for ages. And lastly, my urge to pierce my ear is back again!! I'm not sure if I really want to pierce my ear but I just want to try out. It will not be a permanent thing but what really prevented me from doing it is I'm uncertain if the hole will close up after some time when I don't put any studs or ring to it. Sometimes, my indecisiveness helps. Like for this case about piercing ear, I'm glad I haven't pierce, just in case I won't regret immediately after I've pierced.

This friday got a half-day off. Woohoo! Given to most of the guys in the branch after our line-dance performance at the unit's D&D. Been thinking of what to do after we had lunch outside(we won $200 as consolation prize, so its going to be spent on lunch). And I've decided to go to gym! To my usual gym spot at tampines sports complex. Time to have a real good workout!

It's a uber long post and most of it are grumbling. Super late le. Tomorrow's start of a new day of war. This war will go on till 27th july 2009 when I ORD.

3rd day of unexpected MC

2008-12-04T14:16:00.002+08:00

i'm on MC since Tuesday thanks to this illness called helmes zoster, basically its just a recurrance of chicken pox. Its infectious to people that didnt have chicken pox before. Hence, I was given 4 days of MC.

But I'm not happy about these 4 days of MC because I need to avoid seafood & heaty food for 2 weeks. Urgh!! Seafood ah, I can try avoid them lah BUT heaty food are heavenly food for me eh! Never mind, its just a 2 weeks. After that I can be able to eat all the food that I want to eat.

I can't wait for my xbox 360 to arrive in my house!! I'm getting it so-called for free because of the singnet broadband that I signed up. 1 more week, and I can play xbox le. Woohoo!

Feel like getting a new mp3 to replace my current sony mp3. I've been using it since poly year 1 or 2. The battery keeps going flat way too fast for my liking. I need to recharge it every time I used it. Recently, I just saw a sony 8GB mp3 which cost $189 but after checking the model out, its quite an old one. So now, I'm going for the new sony 8GB or 16GB mp3 or the ipod touch, not sure if i should consider classic as well, classic's should be a good choice for me because of its large space so being lazy, I can throw a whole album into the mp3.

juz feel like writing something

2008-11-20T00:21:00.002+08:00

while i'm waiting for this lame video clip called Go Rangers to load on Youtube and transferring my files from desktop to my portable hard disk, i decided to blog.

Its quite troublesome to transfer files from my desktop to my hard disk, 'cause the usb port for my desktop is spoilt and hence i need to use my laptop as a media to transfer files to my hard disk. Its troublesome!!

Today's quite a good day for me. Firstly, IPPT was cancelled due to Cat 1 status (meaning weather is really bad). I wasn't really keen to take it. I'll surely fail lah and I've got no motivation to push myself for a pass. So, best solution will be 'avoid' taking it. Remedial Training was conducted in place of IPPT. It's quite a casual workout but its a eventful one after a long time of not exercising.

Then, on my way home, got 2 friends to accompany on the bus ride home. Chi Meng & Mukun. Super long never have a decent chat after our training days, which is about 1 year ago! After all, we're at different units now and all we actually said to each other was the 'Hi' & 'Bye' and casual talk. Hence, the bus ride back to Kallang was a pretty eventful one.

Time for my Go Rangers video le!

random post!

2008-11-18T19:48:00.002+08:00

OPPS! Just as I was preparing to type for this post, I accidentally press tab until the 'Publish Post' icon was selected and I pressed 'Enter' key. And so I submitted an empty post. Haha!

Been pretty lazy to blog recently. After coming back from unit, I will be just using my laptop to play FM08 (Football Manager 08), and now the recently released FM09. And I just do abit of surfing on soccer sites to get myself slightly updated with soccer news. I no longer have the urge to keep myself updated of soccer news. I just don't see the need to be so obsessed with soccer. Felt pretty like I'm a no-lifer if I'm too obsessed with it. So, as long as I'm not outdated with the news, I'm happy enough le.

For the past 2 weeks plus, life has been pretty the same for me. Work at the unit from 8am-5.30pm. Came back home in the night, and playing some games to chill. And for weekends will be meeting up with kit and huat on saturday and catching up with hanzhong on friday.

Recently, I've been thinking alot during my free time. Was thinking about what I should be doing from now till my ORD. Thinking about how I should approach everyday. Thinking about what I should be doing after ORD. And if I were to go studying, should I do it in Singapore, Australia and what kind of course I should be doing. Think, think & THINK. And, I've not concluded anything on my thoughts. Oh well, I should take it a step at a time, slowly sort out my thoughts and be decisive.

a bad headache for the coming week

2008-11-03T20:20:00.002+08:00

Argh!! What's with me today!! First, I realised my work in the unit went wrong after an error which happened at the early step of the procedure. So I had to re-do it and at the same time HOPEFULLY meet my target. Phew! That's a really tough task to accomplish but hopefully i'll improve with this mistake. With determination, I believe I CAN DO IT..albeit with the help of my teammates. :)

Well, I'm kinda disappointed at myself because not only did I made an error. But I made one which needed the help of my co-workers to help me solve the mess I created! I don't like to trouble others whenever its possible for myself to handle the situation. But right now, without the helps of my co-workers, I DEFINITELY can't finish before the deadline. Hence, I'm feeling guilty for pulling them into the act. To lessen their load, I shall work harder so that they can do less work.

To make things worse, I actually thought of a nice title for this post on my way back home! BUT I forgot the name just when I start this post. Haha.

Currently watching this Channel 8 show which shows the less fortunate people living in Singapore. Every single episode is so touching and it should make people feel fortunate enough compared to the people aired in the show. Those people on the show are either less educated, having low-IQ or having some form of physical or psychological disability. But really, it felt good to be normal and its good to stay contented and be grateful for what we have and our surroundings.

U Had A Bad Day

2008-10-30T22:32:00.002+08:00

Morning's the start for THE bad day of the week. First of all, I forgot to bring pass which is necessary for me to enter the base for my dental appointment. So I have to wake up earlier to get my pass in the unit (I'm having a half day OFF, so I don't really have to be back in the unit) and then make my way to the base.

Next, the 2nd bad event occurred. The bag which I'm carrying today always has a camera. I knew I'm not supposed to bring any camera device into army territory so when I was packing my bag, I was having 2nd thoughts as to whether I should remove the camera from my bag. My final decision was to just leave the camera inside the bag. And that's where I created the opening for the bad event to occur. On my way to the medical centre, I need to pass by a guard post. So, I declared my prohibited items(PSP, MP3, camera). And upon hearing something by the name of the camera, the people in the guard post wanted to confiscate it. My pleads of suggesting that my bag to be kept at the guard post was rejected. I told them it was for my D&D which was later on in the day. But they had none of it. So I abided their instructions. So after the painful experience of doing filling for my teeth (which is too grose for me to describe), I went to HQ to ask for instructions regards to the camera. And the personnel in there allowed me to take back my camera after hearing my version of the incident (I did not twist any truth of the incident as I described). So I went back to the guard post and they re-confirmed with the HQ after that. However, what happened next was what made me pissed. I had to wait for 30 mins as my camera was 'on the move' (better not to explain too detailed information in here, haha). First of all, apart from my dumbness of bringing a camera to the base, I don't think I did any thing wrong. I suggested for them to safe-keep but they rather confiscate. I mean I did not try to force my way in with a camera. I did not fail to declare. So why should my camera be confiscated and 30 mins was wasted just like that. I was actually in a rush to meet the guys for lunch and make our way to HortPark after it. And I was late for the meeting, I dropped my drinks on the floor which delayed abit of time and we need to take cab down to the place as we're running late. So bad events snowballed and I'm the cause of it. Haiz. But I'm glad my friends felt that I wasn't really in the wrong for the camera incident.

Lastly, during the D&D, we finally managed to finish our line dance, well I wouldn't say perfectly but its really a pretty good one where we did not make any mistakes and the crowd was feeling high! (Part of the high-feeling crowd is from my unit though, haha!) However, the team only got a 3rd. I mean, we seriously weren't that bad. The whole team was great lah! Best performance ever loh! First time it went perfectly without any single major mistake. I'm quite alright with losing to the 2nd place team because the female singer was great! Never thought that lady can sing that well! But to lose to the 1st place team made me felt our result wasn't what we deserved. They had a good package when presenting themselves while our introduction speech was more of a casual and relaxed one. That could be the decisive factor?? I don't know. I guess I sound like such a sore loser. Laughs. But after weeks of practices, changes made, tonight's performance is one to be remembered but the end result wasn't fantastic.

Anyway, that's the day for today. What an eventful day it has been!

ranting..

2008-10-25T16:19:00.002+08:00

Quite PISSED with myself today...i didn't prepare myself well enough for the guitar lesson today. Haiz, i need to plan my time better so that i can have enough time to practice guitar, relax by watching tv & get to rest enough so i won't be too tired for work in the unit.

I'm not practicing enough everyday and i'm still not getting used to plucking the strings well to produce a nice & clear sound. Oh well, i'm sure with more practice i sure can play guitar well de. I need better coordination with my 2 hands. I guess its because of myself starting to play guitar too late bah. But I can do it!! Can de!

time passes by rather fast

2008-10-24T20:56:00.002+08:00

Today's the ORD day for 2 seniors! so happy for them, finally they can move on to their next step of their lives. But on the other hand, i'm kinda sad yesterday because i dun like parting & separation, just hate that kind of feeling.

Good comments were given for their performance appraisal in the office, glad that they've good comments so that the appraisal can aid them in getting a job in the society. Hopefully i can get equally good comments. Not easy but i shall give in my best.

To think its almost a year since i came to my unit, and i'm left with 9 more months to go to my ORD. I'm having mixed feelings about ORD. On 1 hand, i'm happy because i won't need to do stuffs that i don't like anymore. But on the other hand, i'm still not quite sure of what i decided to do after ORD. I hope i don't need to work straight after army because this is my last chance of being able to study. I mean, i don't think i will have the motivation or determination to study after getting into the working world.

Oh well, 1 step at a time bah, no point thinking so much right now. Now's the time to figure out my future a step at a time. Any wrong move right now definitely will be suicidal.

Yesterday, most of the madams & the NSFs went for a lunch outing at Cafe Cartel to celebrate the seniors' ORD. Hmm, i wonder where will my ORD celebration be held at. Crystal Jade lah, Billy Bombers lah, and even Ajisen also can lah. Just nice food will do.

Anyway, during playing of basketball today, i acidentally got scratched on my arm, the scratch is 2-inch long & yet i don't feel any pain at all. It was only until i took a glimpse at my arm then i realise i got a scratch. It's been quite a while since i enjoy playing basketball but i need to improve my playing skills, its quite bad but i enjoy doing the defensive work like stealing the ball away from the opponents. Haha!

I'm abit unhappy because of an incident which happen today. Maybe I looked too much into that incident. Perhaps I should learn to stop thinking too much about minor stuffs and made myself miserable, unhappy. Haha, alright, back to game le, its weekend! Time to enjoy & relax!

best ever day in army

2008-10-20T20:45:00.002+08:00

I totally enjoyed today in the unit! Haha, how often will an NSF enjoy national service so much. Its because of a combination of being able to slack officially and less time spend at work. Plus I get to eat KFC and pizza in the office without paying for it!!

Dunno why today one of the madams' so nice, willing to fork out $100 to treat the regulars & NSFs. Thz alot ma'am!

And because of the line-dance practice, lunch was indented and the guys had lunch after the dance practice. So our lunch has actually eaten into our normal working time, hence making it a longer break. That's a very good bonus le, I'm more than happy with this arrangement.

I tried to stop myself from being tense up with work in the office and tried to chill. It felt alot carefree and really felt good. Its good to have a positive change. Previously, I was too caught up with the work, and seriously didn't try to interact much at all. I do chat in the office, but definitely I spent way too little time interacting.

Definitely a good start for the week!

juz unhappy

2008-10-17T22:57:00.003+08:00

it takes me like 3 tries to decide what to put as a title for this post..well, the title says what i feel abt things that has happened this past week.

lets see..how should i start...alright..basically 2 things that really made me unhappy. First thing was abt the junior that i scolded last week. Somehow i always end up being very impatient with him. I tried putting myself in his shoes to try see what is going through him as he learns as he work ( there's no such thing as luxury of time to learn when u're in my office, haha). But once again its his attitude that pissed me off. I mean every single work-related problem he will ask for my help. And the more he ask, the more impatient i get. But its like, i'm not really a pro in what we're doing!! Yes, i definitely have more experience in our work than him BUT look for the madams there rather than me lah. Its not that i don't want to help, its about why he get my help than the madams'. He said "You got experience mah, thats why i ask you." And with that statement, he can always put the blame on me if what I told him turns out to be wrong. I thought to myself, i'm juz more experienced than you for a few months and as a NSF, how experienced can I get?

Anyway, after a weekend where we don't need to work, he can forget where he stop previously for his work. He can also forget things he learnt easily. And he's not trying any ways to help him cope with his poor memory, like to write notes, etc. I just hope he don't always look for me when there's errors with the work, and I better change my tone when speaking to him (he's the only one in the office where my tone doesn't sound pleasant when i talk to him).

There's this madam whom i think practice favouritism. Obviously i'm not one of the favourite workers thats why I'm unhappy, haha. But then again, when favouritism is practiced, I think there's the feel of un-fairness and unhappiness. Especially if the treatment given can become too biased. Anyway, I never thought favouritism will occur at this stage of my life in NS, because I thought favouritism will not happen after schooling years. AH! maybe i should stop looking into these minor things that make myself unhappy. This matter is not going to be important to me in anyway, I should've just ignore and forget about all the office politics when I'm outside the unit.

I'm letting too much of small things that happened and eventually let it take over myself and made me kinda emo nowadays. Not sure how I can change it but I definitely must change so that my life will be a happy one than a sad one.

Recently, I chatted with the person whom I wanted to avoid on msn. I'm kinda surprused that I ended up chatting because before the person talk to me, I thought to myself that I will still avoid talking to that person but somehow I decided not to, and ended up talking to that person. It no longer feels like chatting with a good friend anymore, I felt like just having a normal hi-bye chat with an aquintance. Well, somehow I'm glad that I didn't avoid talking because it will make myself look petty and actually the action is childish. Haha.

After 2 plus months of training pull-up, I'm finally sooo close to being able to do 1 standard pull-up. In fact, I managed to do 1 pull-up after playing basketball. Really felt so happy!! I proved to myself even with the restriction of motion by my right arm, I can still do pull-ups. However, I think I pushed myself too hard because my arms are aching badly now. I've been doing pull-up twice a day for the past week (once after 1st parade and once during tea-break), I hope I can be able to do at least 3 pull-ups by the end of the year. Jia you!!

Next week there's a batch there's going to ORD. All the best to you 2 when u go to the working society.

weekdays are coming..

2008-10-12T17:24:00.002+08:00

Went to SGH for medical appointment on friday, woohoo! Simply love it! No need to go to the unit in the morning, just need to go to SGH for the medical and return to the unit at 2.20pm and left unit at about 3pm for Games Day. Best weekday as an NSF ever. 2 more medical appointments coming up. Met jing nan up to get chun wai's present in the night. Too bad i didnt get both the gifts i wanna get. In the end, i manage to get only 1 out of the 2 presents.

Went to chun wai's birthday celebration on saturday evening. Sorry for staying only for about an hour and didnt give 'face' when u offered the food. Dunno lah, i just felt rather awkward and didnt help at all. So, i left rather quite early. Anyway, hope u like the present that we got for u.

Today, i went to play wii with kit and huat at cineleisure. Haha, both kit n me cant even get into the Sonic racing game that we wanted to play. Even needed help of a kid that is maybe 6 years old. (really felt pai seh loh) Anyway, we cant play that sonic game because we found out that we used the controller the wrong way(controller should be held perpendicularly rather than vertically when playing racing game). At least, now we have better knowledge of playing wii. We rented the wii console for 1 hour so the playing time was quite short but its nice playing it though. Next, we went to Isetan in Shaw Towers because i wanna get some models to place in my display cabinet. The cabinet's still empty, and is waiting for me to put some companions so it won't be so lonely lah. In the end, i got 4 models, thanks to the 20% sale that isetan is having.

I need to take some time during weekdays to practice my guitar and to fix the models that i have in hand. Still having difficulty at playing guitar thanks to myself being lazy to practice often. I need time management badly! As for the models, i've 6 at home right now, none are fixed. So, i should set myself a target of fixing 2 models by this coming week. Hopefully, 1 model will be done bah (provided i stop being lazy).

For people wondering why i STOPPED going to msn, its because i wanna avoid a particular someone. I don't really wanna see her nick pop up when i go online. (could've just block her actually,haha) My actions is childish but i just felt like doing so. Haiz, im such a contradicting person. Now that she's busy with studies, work n relationship, i guess lesser time to go online bah. Anyway, i figured out my thinking le so i don't see a point in avoiding u anymore. Furthermore, FM2009's coming out soon and that means i will be using com more often and playing it will be more important than to avoid you.

Tomorrow's the audition for the Dinner & Dance. I really hope we can get through with our line dance performance. Its for the possible 1 day-off as well as a challenge for myself to see if i can learn a new activity in a short while (started picking up line-dancing 2 months back, my reason back then was actually purely for the 1 day-off). I was kind of shocked and delighted when mdm sabrina (our dance teacher and the pro) decided to put me in the 1st row. I was quite slow in picking up the dance at first but i practiced at home and managed to keep up with the group. It's nice to see that my effort of practicing at home paid off but i still feel im not that gd to be standing at the 1st row for the dance.

Hope this week can be a smooth sailing week and...LESS WORK PLEASE!!