Good. Bye. Grandma.

As much as I'm feeling really sad. I feel it is only right that I dedicate a post to my grandma. She had just passed away last Wednesday. A lot of events happened that day. A simple trip to the hospital just took a bad turn of event. And everything ended on the midnight of Wednesday. Recalling the events are too painful right now even though everything remains fresh in my mind.

Instead of focusing on the sad stuffs, this post shall focus on positive and happier events. Grandma took cared of me when I was still a kid while mum helped out at uncle's company. She didn't had much education as life was really difficult for her in her younger days. However, she had learned good habits and has taught all her grandchildren whom she took cared of, including myself, well. I should include my mum, auntie and uncles into the list as well. Grandma has taught her younger generations well. In fact, she had been awesome.

She had taught me manners and habits which I still practiced until now. And I will continue to do so because it has become part of me. I am always grateful for her care. I had planned to bring her out for a good meal when I'm done with my studies and begin my first job. I should have visited her more often. She had slight senile period but she had always remember me and always called out the right name. Thinking back right now, is able to make me tear. However, she has moved on to another world. I can no longer do what I planned to do. It was too late. I had missed my chance. To be frank, I really hated myself for this and is regretting it big time. She has always hold a dear place in my heart. I have always respected her. I always wanted to treat her well all the time. She will and always been my dearest grandma. But I can no longer repay and perform my duties as a grandson....

I should have learned to treasure her more when she was around. Now, it's too late. I really learned to love and show care to anyone I love and treasure all of them at the current moment. Do not ever leave it late. It will only create regrets.

3 days of wake has been over and all other required events has been conducted. Some scenes which happened will always stay in my mind. Incidents involving two relatives whom were really close to grandma really pains me but makes me proud to be a grandson of this wonderful lady. It really touched me.

When grandpa passed away, I was still too little. I was still only 3 or 4 years old. I didn't quite know what had happened. Now that I had grown up, I learned to acknowledge the event better.

Moving on is really hard. But it is a natural process. I hoped I can learned to come to terms with it. I'm sure grandma would not want us to grieve for too long either. Be strong.

Thank You. Thank You, Grandma. I will always remember you. You will stay in my heart. In loving memory.