Why this word inspires me leh? It's 'coz I think I'm a good-for-nothing too. I can't think of something that I can look back & really be proud of. Nothing to make my parents proud of me. Nothing to make my friends proud of me. Absolutely nothing! I don't care about myself. Parents happy, friends happy, I will be happy.
And with this recent issue that is bothering me, the feeling that I'm useless is even stronger. Well, I find my trip here to Brisbane for studies is too big a step forward. I took such a long time to come out with this decision but yet I think it's not a good one at all. Dad needs to pay instalments for home, Mum is using her savings to get me here. Yes, I should stay but I'm sure the burden will be bigger on their shoulders & I DON'T WANT THAT TO HAPPEN. First of all, they're not young anymore, by that I mean, they should be at the age where they can retire & enjoy life more le. Still need to support me to study overseas? Big task..
My situation is different from most people. Every single step or decision that I made, must be more careful, the chance to commit mistake must be as close to as zero. I need to think of my future & at the same time, able to get a good job so that I can provide better life for my parents. 'Coz I should be the one supporting them now not the other way round. My parents aren't giving me any pressure, I'm the one harbouring all these thoughts because I think with all the care I got, they deserve better.
Which brings me down to where I see myself in the future? Dunno? What I will be doing? Dunno? I'm not really picky on what to study & what to work as. Right now I'm at a crossroad. There's many ways to move forward. But I don't know which is the better way.
But right now, I'm leaning towards a more practical route, dreams can come later. My ice cream parlour, wait for me!
Time to do my assignments! Keep playing games & haven't touch my assignment.. =(
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