These past 3 odd months has been a test. A stern test. Coping studying and working part-time ain't easy. Not that the 1st semester in curtin and starting work at kinokuniya didn't give me a good enough hint to tell myself that I'm not good enough to handle both things at the same time. Did thought of quitting. Quitting the part-time job that is. Tried. Persuaded. Stayed. Period. And so I continue in that part-time job in kinokuniya, and because I felt inferior or I don't know what kind of feeling that is, I kept to myself and have few friends. Things start to get better recently and hopefully it stays that way. Sometimes, its just that I find myself being contradicting. And at times I feel that I should smash myself against the wall. Hmm...yeah.
A colleague from the Japanese Books department just quitted. Kinda came at a surprise. She started worked not long ago and I remembered I asked her how long she thinks she will work in Kinokuniya (kinda weird question to ask when I first know her) and her reply was "1 or 2 years" and now she has lefted for a new venture. Nevertheless, hope her new job is more rewarding than the one she hold in Kinokuniya.
Now to some happy stuffs. Few weeks back, this female customer went up to me and approach me and asked me about some books on this band named 'Tokyo Hotel'. Well, it's not the content of the conversation that made me happy. It's the person. This is one time I really find my heart pounding real fast! As in really can sense that huge difference. Let me realise that I still have feelings. I'm not turned into a machine yet! Not yet at least. Though, there's no follow-up until maybe we might see each other on the street and I FINALLY have some courage to go up to her and take some actions. But this girl is just special. She TOTALLY have the looks that fit the image I portrayed to be 'my dream girl'. And since I mentioned happy stuffs in the beginning of this paragraph, the other happy stuff would be I found a new outlet to vent my unhappiness! It's turning one hobby I enjoyed and using it to forget any unhappiness I have. And this new outlet is through eating! Or to be more precise, it's to indulge in food! I have the tendency to gobble lots of food down my stomach whenever I'm unhappy or stressed. And this has led to my weight to sky-rocket. Need to have some kind of discipline on my actions. This ain't right.
And now to some unhappy stuff. There is only one thing that can make me unhappy or stressed until I graduate and that has to be studies. This semester that has just ended has proved to be the biggest test. Maths and History are 2 subjects which let me have confidence in myself in studies 'coz I did reasonably back in my secondary school days. But as I handled accounting this semester, I started out feeling confident till the point when I collected my mid-sem test and group assignment that made my confidence level plunged to the rock-bottom. Absolutedly gutted by my results. I approached the final exam for accounting feeling stressed and with the fear of failing the module. It felt terrible. Luckily, I managed in time to get myself back on track and I believed I just managed to scrape through. A lucky escape for me.
Next trimester will start after this short 1 week break. Need to recharge my 'batteries' well and prepare for the next trimester and after that, a 1 month break awaits. Whee...!! 2 more trimesters are gone, 4 more remains. I shall approach this remaining 4 trimesters with gusto and will learn to have better time management to juggle studies and work. GilbertoSilver came up with the slogan 'Cesc, we can!' and I shall come up with one for myself 'Jun, you can!'.
人类因梦想而伟大.....
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