lets see..how should i start...alright..basically 2 things that really made me unhappy. First thing was abt the junior that i scolded last week. Somehow i always end up being very impatient with him. I tried putting myself in his shoes to try see what is going through him as he learns as he work ( there's no such thing as luxury of time to learn when u're in my office, haha). But once again its his attitude that pissed me off. I mean every single work-related problem he will ask for my help. And the more he ask, the more impatient i get. But its like, i'm not really a pro in what we're doing!! Yes, i definitely have more experience in our work than him BUT look for the madams there rather than me lah. Its not that i don't want to help, its about why he get my help than the madams'. He said "You got experience mah, thats why i ask you." And with that statement, he can always put the blame on me if what I told him turns out to be wrong. I thought to myself, i'm juz more experienced than you for a few months and as a NSF, how experienced can I get?
Anyway, after a weekend where we don't need to work, he can forget where he stop previously for his work. He can also forget things he learnt easily. And he's not trying any ways to help him cope with his poor memory, like to write notes, etc. I just hope he don't always look for me when there's errors with the work, and I better change my tone when speaking to him (he's the only one in the office where my tone doesn't sound pleasant when i talk to him).
There's this madam whom i think practice favouritism. Obviously i'm not one of the favourite workers thats why I'm unhappy, haha. But then again, when favouritism is practiced, I think there's the feel of un-fairness and unhappiness. Especially if the treatment given can become too biased. Anyway, I never thought favouritism will occur at this stage of my life in NS, because I thought favouritism will not happen after schooling years. AH! maybe i should stop looking into these minor things that make myself unhappy. This matter is not going to be important to me in anyway, I should've just ignore and forget about all the office politics when I'm outside the unit.
I'm letting too much of small things that happened and eventually let it take over myself and made me kinda emo nowadays. Not sure how I can change it but I definitely must change so that my life will be a happy one than a sad one.
Recently, I chatted with the person whom I wanted to avoid on msn. I'm kinda surprused that I ended up chatting because before the person talk to me, I thought to myself that I will still avoid talking to that person but somehow I decided not to, and ended up talking to that person. It no longer feels like chatting with a good friend anymore, I felt like just having a normal hi-bye chat with an aquintance. Well, somehow I'm glad that I didn't avoid talking because it will make myself look petty and actually the action is childish. Haha.
After 2 plus months of training pull-up, I'm finally sooo close to being able to do 1 standard pull-up. In fact, I managed to do 1 pull-up after playing basketball. Really felt so happy!! I proved to myself even with the restriction of motion by my right arm, I can still do pull-ups. However, I think I pushed myself too hard because my arms are aching badly now. I've been doing pull-up twice a day for the past week (once after 1st parade and once during tea-break), I hope I can be able to do at least 3 pull-ups by the end of the year. Jia you!!
Next week there's a batch there's going to ORD. All the best to you 2 when u go to the working society.
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